It's a Baby!

It has been totally remiss of me not to have mentioned the latest addition to the Baker household in the last few days. Don't take it from me, here is the update from a very proud new Dad:

"Well, as of 11pm last Thursday, Harry Baker appeared, three weeks early and weighing in at 8lb2.

To make life a little more interesting, the labour lasted 23 hours before he needed to be delivered using forceps - not for the faint-hearted. Unfortunately, that caused a "bit" of bruising, the upside of which are some very cool photos for his dad to show off. Harry's the small purple one on the right, by the way. Most of the bruises in the photo have now gone, although he still has a couple of black eyes and is being treated for jaundice caused by the bruising."

Gurt will be sending a small bottle of cider round (sterlised of course!).

Best wishes from all to Mum and Harry.

(PS. I hear Sparrow is available for babysitting duties)

CBRC Ball 2007

What I night!

A big thank you to the absent organisers - all went with a hell of a swing. There were a number of incidents throughout the night, but I can only assume it went with a bang if it started like this.

But when it started like that, it was only going to go one way!

We had a brief round up from the one and only Pete Vallance, followed by the 2007 Gurt Lush Awards.

My congratulations go to the following winners:

Fashion Statement of The Year

Crusher

Crash of The Year

Rob Beever

Tart of The Year

Jimmy Young

The Gurt Lush Award

Dr Charlie Jones

The evening went rapidly downhill after the awards, with a determined effort to split the Men's 1st and 2nd eights in a chaotic boat race (sponsored by Smirnoff Ice).

But only one man can claim that his cross dressing would not be stopped by his requirement to wear black tie. Step forward Baggy

Roll on 2008!

It's Official - I Can'tTake My Booze

So there I was, the day after seeing Sparrow cuddle that baby, I met a man who introduced me to this new web site:

http://www.moderndrunkardmagazine.com/issues/09_03/09-03-reasons-to-get-drunk-jan.htm

Before I knew it I had started on the full calendar, and lost a fortnight.

I am back - albeit, with an almighty headache - but normal business is now resumed!

Baby Sitting Services Available

For those few of you who may require some cover in order to attend the CBRC Annual Ball next week, I have come across a new baby sitting/child minding service.

He comes highly recommended, and as can be seen below, will be happy to take your 9 day old baby out on the town!

Tales from the Tideway

The boys did not have much luck this year at the HORR, with what some insiders were saying was the fastest crew ever to come out of CBRC!

It appears that it was a little choppy on the river down in London village, and only 45 crews started the race and 29 finishing - all the other swamping/sinking!

I shall pass you over to Mr Tideway Slug (sink, swamp or swim) for a good description as to the days events! But here is a photo of the 2nd 8 (not managed to find one of the others) to show you the conditions they had to cope with!

The old g*ts on the other hand did managed to get a Sunday paddle and finished 65th out of 180 starters at the vets head on a much calmer river!

Coming to America, no Bristol

It has been observed over the weekend that a member of the mens squad is very fond of his hair products...

So, away with the Liverpool University splash top, and make room for the new kit sponsor:

Birthday time

I have been informed that it is Pete - our Captain's 60th Birthday today (Sat 31st for those that don't read the lush on a weekend!)


So if you see him around then don't forget to check that he had a good day, although the last time I saw him, he was down at the club wielding pitch gauges and height sticks trying to figure out the novice 8...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PETE - HOPE YOU HAD A GOOD DAY

Gurt

Thirsty?

Do you ever get annoyed about having to constantly keep filling your pint glass with cider/beer/both...

Why not take a leaf out of Jihan's book, and throw away your pint glass and use a nice large vase instead!!

Not sure it would work in a pub this, more of a house party drinking accessory!

Hope you washed the daffodil's out first!

Birthday Bonanza

There was quite a good turn out for Dr Lancaster's big night out in Bristol at the weekend - some people who could not be bothered to turn up on time, even had to queue to get in, as the bar was quite literally bursting at the seams with CBRC!

The most photographed person of the night (bar Katy as it was her birthday!) was not the ubiquitous Julia - But Diego! Here is one (of two!) of them together... Not sure if Julia was requiring support, as she looks as if she is hanging off Diego!

Jane appeared to have not only been drinking, but also taking some other form of drugs... looking a little zombie like here!

And then there was Jimmy, who was so desperate to sup the last bit of the strange strawberry cider type concoction, that he felt the need to lick it off the floor!!

There are of course more photo's that you can view to you hearts content here!

How Do I Look - take two?!?

About 1min 20sec into it....



About 3 min 10 into it....

It's a tough job - but somebody has to do it!

I have not been impressed with the number of complaining comments on the Lush regarding the ball, and anyone who thinks they can do a better job are more than welcome to have a go at organising something next year.

This is the one big event of the year where we can all get dressed up, and have a proper shindig... The winter training is over, and Henley/summer training is not yet in full flow. I myself - being one of the old dogs of the club have been to many, and they all prove to be a great event... and I am sure that Dee and Nicky have organised something just as entertaining!

SO STOP COMPLAINING, GET YOUR CASH OUT AND SUPPORT YOUR CLUB, AND ALL THE PEOPLE THAT PUT TIME INTO RUNNING IT!

Here are a few pictures from over the years....

50th Anniversary Ball

2005

2006

Party Frocks and Penguin Suites

Ladies and Gentlemen - it is time to dust off your formal gear, get your cheque books out, and buy some tickets for the 2007 CBRC annual dinner!!


Venue: Ashton Court Mansion
Date: 13th April, 2007
Time: 7pm for Drinks Reception
Price: £35.00

Price includes the following:

A champagne/wine reception upon arrival, a 3 course dinner and a Disco!
Bar open until 1.30am and Disco finishes at 2am.

If you want some tickets, but do not make it to the boat house very often then drop Dee or Nicky a line to book them up!

Not just for Bristol

Looks like it is not only bristol rowers that read me!

This blog has a link to Gurt - and lots of more serious and useful rowing info than I ever print!!

A tale of two halves

While the Women enjoyed sunshine and warm weather on Saturday, it was a very different scene on the tidaway for the Men to have their pre HORR training session!

The reports coming through sound as if the wind was picking the water up a treat and causing some very difficult rowing conditions, with the crews even having to stop half way through the outing to empty out some water....

What is more, that on their return they some of the crew were so excited to be back to 'dry' land they jumped out the boat a little early, with Russ practicing his breast stroke, Gildas having a little paddle in the clear blue water of the Thames, and Crusher in up to his waist!!

Wish I had some pictures of that!!

Women Drivers...

If our second eight thought they had had a bad day, it was nothing compared to Pembroke College Oxford who managed to wrap their boat around Putney Bridge.

And I thought only 'bright' people could get into Oxford?!?

WeHORR 07

There were mixed emotions on Saturday afternoon in Putney after 2 crews of the women's squad pitted themselves against 280+ other crews from around the country (plus a few international ones too!)

The day started off well, and they were greeted by nice warm sunny conditions, if not a little windy, which made the conditions a little tricky. Well not that well, with the van (a nice brand new transit) having a close encounter with the end of one of the 8's!

1st off the first crew

By all accounts a fairly solid row down the course, and some good racing, with plenty of overtaking to keep Jimmy occupied!
Final results with them coming in at 79th in a time of 20.42 - I think they were hoping to come a little higher up the chart - 22nd out of 33 S2 crews, but the 6th fastest provincial crew!

2nd Crew...
Unfortunately this was not a race to remember with one of the wheels on bow's seat disintegrating very shortly into the race - and 4 miles with only 7 rowers was never going to give them the result they were going for!

With not much to read into the result of 246th - 22.39. Although they did manage to beat 5 crews in their division (one by over 2 minutes!) with their full compliment of crew.....

Well done ladies - next stop Henley!

Update on the fundraising - Up to £235 now for breast cancer haven. Not sure when the site stops collecting, but for the time being you can still offer some more money here!

I can't wait until I'm 30!

So much so that I am going to celebrate becoming 30 a whole ten days before the actual big day....

There is now a plan for Katy's coming of age, and it will be on the 24th March.....

Details from the Dr's mouth

"hello ladies

30th birthday celebrations will be at 'the woods' bar, just off park street on park street avenue (opposite the yellow monstrosity that is the white hart). it looks very cool indeed and is open until 6am, so there will be absolutely no need whatsoever for la rocca!!!! I'd like to start reasonably early in order to bag an area for us, so will be there from 7.30pm.

looking forwards to some proper partying to ease me into my new era....

Katy xx"

PS - Although is says ladies above I am sure she won't mind some of the boys coming along... (too late now anyway as I have just posted!).

Having said that I am a little worried that the 'boys' are turning into girls anyway with all these stories about cake baking I keep hearing! At this rate they will be taking tins of cake in the boat to training sessions/races, and doing away with Sunday morning outings!

PPS - Katy, you don't look a day over 20... Love Gurt x

Are you prepared

There are only a few days left until the women's head of the river, and all the people who have raced on the tideway will know that it is a long time to sit in the boat, and keep hydrated at the same time -For the boys it just takes a wide necked bottle... for the girls it is not so easy!

There have been instances of quality street tins and shoes, but now the ultimate solution has arrived..

best get your orders in today to ensure delivery for Saturday - and for the boys - you can also get them gift wrapped for a special surprise for your lady

Have your cake and eat it

It sounds as if the cake stall was a great success at the weekend, and raised lots of lovely money for the club - it would have been more if Jane and Emily did not have to have a slice of EVERY cake on the stall!

Luckily there is no more Bristol events until the end of the summer now, otherwise we would have to ask JL to change the all-in-one design to something along these lines!

What goes - clunk, clunk,clunk,clunk

Ans - A swan being hit by all four bow side blades of a UWE eight at full pelt down Welshback!

Maybe that is why they decided to cut the corner round by the Matthew to try and catch up the time that the swan cost them! - In my day cutting that corner was a disqualification?!

Weekends Results

What a weekend of unexpected results....

In the rugby, the Italians beating the Welshies, England the Frog's. In the cake baking! contest the men came up trumps (or did I miss read that email?), whereas in the rowing the women's second 8 coming home quicker that the 1st 8 - although there was some very last minute swapping around, with Jane having to pull out of the race virtually on the start line, Emily (the cox) jumping into her place, and Tom (on the launch) getting the coxing duties!!

Anyway, as I am sure you have all seen, the results are up on the website!

Row, row, row your boat UPDATED

There are still lots of Job still to fill - IF YOUR ARE RACING IN THE 1ST DIVISION THEN YOU WILL BE REQUIRED TO HELP THE 2ND DIVISION, AND VISE-VERSA. It is only fair that people making your division run get to row in the other division, and without sufficient help this will not be possible.

Quickly down the docks.... Without a swan/ferry/canoe in sight!

The draw is ready, and up on the website.

And now to the serious bit -

This event draws in quite a bit of money into the club (to help fund the equipment you use - and break!), and the smooth running requires the help of club members to allow it to run year on year. If you are rowing in one division, you would be expected to help the running of the other, so please, if you have not done so already send in your offers to volunteer to Nick Baker.

Jobs include -

Start and Finish Timers
Boating marshals (getting boats on and off the water).
Bridge Marshals
Start marshals
Car park
Food stall and Food preparation (before the day: baking cakes, making sandwiches, etc.)
Swan feeding.
Race control/registration.Setting up/Clearing up.

Breast Haven

The women's eights head this year is again raising money for breast cancer....

The 2 8's heading off to London in a weeks time have got together and set up a justgiving site to raise this money. Although it is last minute if they can raise over £100 then there is a chance to win a prize of a new Row Perfect, or a set of Magik oarlocks.

If every one in the club puts even a pound in, then the club has a chance of winning a row perfect.....

What better way boys to make your coach very happy in winning her a row perfect to teach you how to row properly!

Friday sporting funnies

Some painful sporting moments for you to enjoy for a Friday afternoon.



Yes I know it has been around for a while, but it still makes me laugh!

iiit's Quiz Time!

Match these names to make rowing club couples.....

Dom ______________Jo

Rob P_____________Rachael M

Tom______________Rachael W

Morgan____________Jane

Colin______________Emily

Geoff_____________Emma


PS - This list is not exhaustive, so if you are a rowing couple but not here tough!!

Marcus's Madness

Marcus 'Maverick' Mumford is taking part in CLIC24 - A 24 hour endurance, and generally considered a team mountain bike event.

However, now that he is short of a few friends after giving up on the rowing, he has decided to attempt it solo! That is 24 hour non stop cycling - and with that a few words spring to mind 'mad' and 'saddle sore' for starters.

It is a sponsored event, so I am sure he would be most grateful, and ease the pain if you would be kind enough to sponsor his madness

Dancing Lessons

I have just discovered where dancing Jimmy went for his dancing lessons....

A much better idea that going to salsa dancing lessons - Which is what the women's squad are apparently thinking of doing to 'help their rhythm' in the boat?!?

What ever next - first 'scary' socks, then dancing lessons. Personally I would recommend more training as a good way of going faster!

Tall skinny bloke over takes short fat kid

Here we see the new super stroke of the men's second eight charging past one of the local school boys at Worcester head....

At least that is what I hope is happening, and not the other way around!!

Wet feet and wins in Worcester

The men's and women's tideway crews had their first real tester this weekend on the 6km Worcester Head course, the only real time they will get close to the tideway race distance in competition before the main event.

Congratulations to all the crews on some good results, but especially to the men's 1st eight, and the women's 2nd eight who both won their classes. The men's eight triumphed despite only being selected last weekend, showed their potential and won their event, and were the fastest boat in the second division (5th fastest crew of the day)

Men's S3 8+ 16 min 44 (1st)
Men's S3 8+ 17 min 43 (4th)
Women's S2 8+ 18min 50 (2nd)
Women's S4 8+ 20min 13 (1st)

WMD*

I hear on the grapevine that the Women's squad have found themselves a secret weapon in their bid to win WEHORR..

Not a thinly disguised Olympian from a far away country, so as not to be recognised by the ARA, but some rowing socks to scare the competition away!

Personally I would go for the S5 style as they are much more "mean looking, no messing, opposition scaring rowing socks"!

* WMD

Better Late than Never?

It was nearly two months ago, but the following photo's shows what happens when you mix a house in the middle of Wales, 14 rowers and some (ir)responsible drinking!

And these are only a select few, so I can only imagine that the others are not fit for public viewing...

Should keep you amused on a Friday at work!!

Dear oh dear

Anyone for a swim?!?

Imagine the scene....

The sun is shining, the weather is sweltering - what better way to cool down for a quick dip in some crystal clear waters. Mmm lovely.

Alternatively, you decide to go for a quick spin round the docks, on a cold, wintry, wet Thursday morning before work, and you think - what the hell! Lets fall out the boat and get really wet!!!

So imagine this scene - Rob Beever, Chris Sparrow, Jack Mellor, Dylan Lang are cruising along in a 4-, and imagine the surprise as they go round the 'bend?!?' on the feeder and row straight into a barge that was hiding round said 'bend', have a little wobbly moment and fall in! Brrr - not so lovely

Just trying to think how much rowing experience there is in that boat.... and the last time I saw a four full of senior rowers capsize on the docks?

Hope you enjoyed the swim boys!

Curry Club Thursday

It has been a while since we held the weekly curry Thursday, but it has been suggested that we resurrect it for Graeme's birthday on Thursday.

For the new people, the traditional location for curry Thursday is The Berkeley on the triangle where we indulge in one of their most wonderful curry and a pint offer for £4.49. (The wonderful bit being the price, although the curry is not too bad!)

Kicking off at 8.30pm - Be there or be square!

Sorry girls, not the best evening for you lot, but if you reduce the faff factor, then maybe you could make it up in time!

Are you a good Tosser?!?

To be a world record breaking tosser, you should be able to toss a pancake 416 times in 2 minutes

Wishing you all a happy Pancake Day/Shrove Tuesday /Fasnacht/Carnivale/Fat Tuesday/Mardi Gras

When you get home from work/rowing don't forget to confess your sins, receive absolution for them and eat all that food you are not allowed to eat before Lent starts...

Either that or just toss a few pancakes, and cover them with lots of chocolate or Lemon and Sugar - Mmmm

Happy Birthday Jimmy

Thank you birthday angel for letting me know, some of these things slip through the net... Although he has probably tried to keep it a bit quiet now that he is getting on a bit!

I heard it was Zoe's on the 16th, and was it Martina's recently too...

Anyway happy birthday Jimmy, belated wishes to Zoe, Martina, and anyone else that I have missed recently!!

Have a on me....

Goodbye ERB

Sad news, I'm afraid, but it appears that Eton Racing Boats has stopped making rowing shells. So it looks like the women's 4 would have been one of the last to make it out of the ERB shed, which started producing boats in 1888....

At least we will still be able to send all the broken bits to Eric to be mended....

Looks like it is time to start buying Chinese....

Seat Racing

The boys headed off for a weekend of seat racing/pain for crew selection for the HORR. For a change the weather was not too windy, or not too cold and with a few teething problems (like not doing up the riggers...) it all commenced. Just as it was all getting in to a good rhythm, the coxes decided to spice things up a bit, and we all know that 'rubbing's racing!' but driving into each other is a step too far, especially when it results in the breaking of oars! - quite how you manage to collide down a buoyed straight course is beyond me - women driver eh?!? Probably the reason the girls go for male coxes!!

Reports are that it was all very close, which means there should be some good competition, and hopefully some close racing between the two crews. If you want to know the lineups, then I refer you back to a previous post, and you can work out if they fit the seat?!?

Oh, and while the boys were out racing the girls took the opportunity of the boys being away and went out for some dancing... No guesses where they ended up!!!

Calling all Steven Spielberg's/Vijaya Nirmala's

Miss Green passed this on - thinking that it would be a good idea to get some free stuff for the club!

(For those wondering who the hell Vijaya Nirmala is - well she is the most prolific female director according to the Guinness book of records...)

All successful directors have to start somewhere, Spielberg started filming train crashes with his toy trains, so what better place to start than making an ergomercial..
You can even help you club in winning a shiny new Concept2 model E erg, or a set of 8 C2 Dreissigacker sweep oars

Roughly the idea is to make a short film about a rowing machine, stick it on YouTube, and wait for the oars/erg to arrive - what can be easier... once you have thought of a way of make an erg appealing?!?

Oh - and get it in before yesterday!!!

Videos that did make it in on time are here for your enjoyment!

Call for a new Boat house...

I'll put my hands up and say that this was ripped directly from the Tideway Slug..... Full story with pictures can be found there!

If only we had some proper changing rooms - and and some decent neighbouring clubs to share this kind of banter around. It would certainly make my job easier during winter boring season (Henley boring season still to come!) when you are all training too much, and not drinking enough!

"As regular readers may remember, this time last year the London RC boys broke into the TRC women's changing rooms and gave every girl at Thames a Valentine’s card and left them a massive box of chocolates. So this year, the girls in Red, White and Black, figured they should do something in return for their romantic neighbours...

Showing true TRC grit, they went sex shop shopping on Saturday in seedy Soho and bought various ‘toys’ for the LRC boys including: a blowup wife; red fluffy handcuffs; a cock-ring; a willy whistle; boob magnets; a dick measuring stick; willy warmers and a one-night-stand kit!
They then rang Paul "the Impaler" Reedy after shopping, and he let them into the changing rooms that very evening. Once in, they decorated the place with 75 balloons, loads of streamers and heart glitter. The ‘toys’ were wrapped up in a big box along with a giant card signed by all the girls."

On board action

Just a quick one to remind people that there are some pictures of the Avon Gorge here...

Including some on board action photo's of the mens novice 8

Let them eat cake...

News is slowing surfacing on the Women's squad training 'day' down on the Tideway...

After a bit of a wet start, the rain clouds dispersed in time for the actual outing, which involved a full race piece, and then a row back up to Barnes. The second boat did not make it unfortunately, which meant that only 10 people made the 4 hour round trip for a 1.5 hour outing.

As seams to be the case with the women's 1st eight these days, it was important that they carried a tin of cake down the course....

So after the race was done the tea and cake were produced, and the WI meeting commenced!

If you look closely, there is evidence of the last few mouthfuls of the second tin of cake disappearing!!

Jimmy - You really had better take more control over those ladies... you don't see the GB squad cracking open the cake tin before collecting their medals

Happy Valentines Day....

If a day had 36 hours i'd spend 12 picking u flowers,
If we had 48 life would surely be great,
And if it was 72?
I'd climb a mountain just to tell the world i love you,
But...all we have is 24,
Which means i'll keep the message short,
And simply spend every precious hour with you,
Today n forever.

Gurt

To all the boys out there - If you forgot to buy a card, it's not too late - make one yourself!

To all the Girls - You know where I am when you get the homemade card.... but to keep you going, here are some books to read

dirty dancing

Just when the women's squad though they had found a cox, he upped sticks and moved down to London.... not sure what they did to make him move away - he claimed it was for work, but maybe this is the reason!

It appears that James Derbyshire has got married, and his first dance is on YouTube!

Message from Harbour Master

Firstly, apologies for my absence over the last week, but even Mr Gurt has to do some work from time to time - and there has been a distinct lack of gossip recently (you have just all been too well behaved!) but fear not, as there are a few juicy tit bits - but more of that later!

So back to the point of the post - It appears that in the weeks between water skiing, there will now be Dynamite Surfing....

Dynamite Surfing

These sessions will start at 10am with breaks every hour - Just make sure you are out of you scull before it all kicks off!!

Could this be the end?!?

Not quite the end of the world, but this year could see the end of the Ashton Court Festival, after a run of 32 years!

After last years bills of £8000 to clean up the graffiti, £11000 to sort out all the vandalising that happened to the estate (Some one even managed to ruin one of the bunkers by cycling into it - doh!), the organisers are feeling a little strapped for cash!

Whilst I myself are not all that fussed, as there are far too many young drunk people there these days, it looks like all the money they can get the better!

Remind you of anyone?!?

Dr Jones?

Although I am not sure how foie gras would fit with this argument!!

Son - Put that Bottle Down

When I were a lad, it was not good for your street cred to been seen applying moisturisers and lots of 'beauty' product (not that I needed it, as I was naturally good looking and didn't need any help).

But in these days with 'metrosexuals' its all the rage, although I am sure it will stop and make a few people think again before applying too much lavender and tea tree oils. I think I'd rather have spots that a pair of man boobs...

I think I might start getting some for Gurtrude to see if works on women too - although Grandpa Gurt always claimed more than a handful is a waste!

Keep on running

For those of you that like to supplement your rowing training with some half marathon training, then it is time to start thinking about entering.

Entries open today - and it fills up quickly.... so get entering (can't see why myself - but I guess it takes all sorts!)

A new entry at number 1...

Forget (Everything I do) I do it for you, Candle in the Wind, or indeed Grace Kelly.

The next number one single is hotly tipped to be this love song by a haddock!

Word of the Day...

Although I am getting on a bit now, I like to keep my brain a little active, and so try to learn a new word every day. Today the word is - homily - An inspirational saying; also, a platitude.

But imagine my surprise when I went back a few day, and looked for Sundays new word (no internet access in the deepest darkest depths of the Forest!).... See if you can guess the word that this refers to...

"To talk in a rambling, foolish, or meaningless way."

Got it yet?

Answer can be found here!

Last of a Kind...

Now I have always wondered where our ex mens captain hailed from - well it is not every day you see that much hair (not on a head) on such a short body!

I got some of my scientist chums to have a look into this, and low and behold it appears the Mr Bathrust hails from Indonesia...

swapsies...

The GB women's 4x have been given the gold medal from the world champs at Dorney in the summer.

Sadly for the rowing world one of the Russians failed a drugs test.

Head of Shing Mun

Looks like races in other parts of the world did not have quite such good rowing conditions at the weekend, with some 36 rowers ending up in the water!

Although there appears to be some conflicting accounts of what actually went on....

Are we nearly there yet?

72 members of CBRC rowing club took part in the Avon Gorge head at the weekend, under great conditions for rowing, although not a great deal of stream to help them along their way from, well basically the sea to the Bristol docks.

The normal chaos at the start ensued (even 1 crew turning up with 5 of one, and 3 of the other oars, and ending up racing as a 6!), but it all eventually got of to a smooth start, albeit with a few timing issues at the end of the course - I think the finish timers should invest in an eye test before next years race!

Thanks to all the people not racing, and helping out during the race, and then the racers getting stuck in too, which all made the day run well and help Brian keep what little hair he has still got.

The results can be found on the website, and I should have some crew photo's to stick up shortly...

Crew Personalities

Carrying along in the same theme as yesterday, and with the women's squad crews now selected, here is how the different seats were worked out... Well it's not as if any seat racing was done, so it can only have been done using this selection procedure -

Cox - Jimmy/Diego, Ruth/Emily : God reincarnated. However, they can't drive a car anymore. They take 10 miles to change a lane, over steer, can't find the brakes, and yell to the car a lot.

Stroke - Rachael W/Jo, Sam/Tom : 'It's a tough job but only I can do it.' Strokes are born and made to be the most competitive person in the boat by far, and if they stroke long enough, become overly competitive in everything they pursue, or don't pursue..

Seven - Caroline T/Zoe, Rob B/Ali : The seven seat is the Bitch Niche. The longer one rows at seven, the more sophisticated and complex the bitching becomes.

Six - Julia/Katy, Gav/Billy : If you bred Arnold Swarcheneggar with a Golden Retriever, you get a six. Six is also Seven's yin. The gentle giant, gorilla in the mist. Six absorbs most of seven's bitching and keeps it from moving through to the rest of the crew.

Five - Jihan/Lauren, Morgan/Graeme : God. Yahweh. Allah. Buddha. It's not that the five seat IS those things, it's just that's how (s)he gets treated. Five is an example of what happens to a bum that is treated like a king, they act like one.

Four - Caroline R/Nicole, Dom/David : The Amnesia-seat. Take a genius with a photographic memory. Four seat is not stupid, just has immediate and catastrophic memory loss. Four is why racing shirts are handed out on race day.

Three - Jane/Rachael M, Andy/Crusher : Late in the water. Late to practice. Late to class. Late to work. Late out of the water. Late to his date. Late to the team bus. Late for everything but chow line.

Two - Kirsty/Corina, Col/John : Lean to the Left, Lean to the right, stand up sit down fight fight fight. Cheerleader. If (s)he says something funny, (s)he repeated something the bowman prompted them with

Bow - Emma/Rowena, Russ/Gildas : Comedian. The bow seat creates a strange fatalism. They know that in a catastrophic collision, they'll be the only one to die or get paralysed. (S)he can be humorless and witless off the water, but on the water when there is breath to spare, you're sure to catch a chuckle if you listen.

The WEHORR crews (give or take a couple of subs) will be out on the water this weekend for their first race.

PS - I take no responsibility for any of these descriptions, and are not necessarily the views held by myself - although I do tend to agree with some of them. It was borrowed from here, and gives much fuller descriptions.

In the Beginning...

And after God had created the earth and all the things that were in it, God created man and woman. They followed her command and were fruitful and multiplied.

Then God looked down upon the human race and sought out four strong humans: tall, lean, well-muscled, but not too bright. These four God called "the engine room".

God looked further and found two strong humans with focus and a well-developed sense of balance. These two God called "the bow pair".

God sought a human who was steely-eyed, determined, a competitor who would never say "die". This human God called "the stroke".

One more human God found. An individual who had all the qualities of "the stroke" but one who could also follow and send a strong rhythm and will to those who in turn followed him. This individual God called simply "seven".

Now God faced the biggest challenge. God must find an individual who could control and lead these eight exemplary human beings. One who was cocky and confident with a loud voice and dominant bearing. God found no such human being, so God came to earth and took on the role of the coxswain.

I stole this from someone - I apologise, but thought it quite funny... and true!

I can see the bridge....

Push for home!

Hopfully not a call your cox will make, as you can see the bridge from several miles away!

The draw is now done for the Avon Gorge Head, along with all the rules that go with this particular race. Please make sure that you read and understand what you will be expected to do!

Also any volunteers who are not racing please get in touch with pete, and help your club!

Not now.... I'm stressed!

Feeling stressed, life getting you down, can't sleep?!?

Well ladies, here is Gurt's stress relief advice!

whoever smelt it dealt it..

Now, I have had the misfortune of being around the men's squad on a Saturday/Sunday morning - the morning after the night before, when the food of choice was a tasty prawn vindaloo, with a sag aloo on the side. All I can say is that it is not a pleasant experience on the nasal passages!

Well help is at hand with these new fart neutralizing pants.

Apparently "They can be worn anytime, anywhere - in bed, to work, whilst rowing, at social events, including professional meetings or when travelling in any vehicle, including an airplane."

I'm sure they would look good under an all-in-one!

I woz here too

Whilst out walking with the Mrs at the weekend, we wandered across this, and so to practice with my nice new camera - I thought I would capture the moment..

Looks like baggy has been out and about round Bristol marking his 'territory' out!

I guess we can be pleased that he used a marker pen rather that more canine methods of marking out territory...

Wet and Windy - UPDATED

Q : What do you call 22 women on a lake in the middle of nowhere with 20mph winds and hail storms?

A : WEHORR selection and training camp.

The weather was not playing ball, it was wet, windy and bl**dy cold, but the majority of the women's squad wandered down to Wimbleball Lake, set in the hills of Exmoor for some extra video and training sessions to ready themselves for 8's head training.

The Lake

The Ladies (+ the all important coxes!)

Despite the weather that was more suited to sailing rather than rowing, it was still a successful camp, and a change of water and scenery was certainly a welcome change from ploughing up and down the docks - would be a great setting for some summer training!

There is even a rowing club based there!

Suggestions of the day - Take the small trailer, there are some tight corners to get round!!

But before they really get stuck into the training plan, there is one last social on the Calender...

The Head of the Avon Gorge after show party

Time - 8pm
Place - The Roo bar, and then off dancing to a place still yet to be decided, but if I were a betting man, I would say La Rocca would be the choice of champions!

More Look-a-Like

For many of my newer readers you will knot know much about this chap -


This is for the longer standing members of the club!

......

Steroid Man ...vs... Dylan Lang

PS - not the weedy looking bloke in the bows..

Watch out for your wallet....

A word of warning for those (males) of you who may be regular Tesco, Sainsbury's or Asda customers. Over the last month I became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. Simply going out to get a few bits and pieces has turned out to be quite traumatic. Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't happen to you!

Here's how the scam works:

Two seriously good-looking 20-21 year-old girls come over to your car
as you are packing your shopping into the boot. They both start wiping
your windscreen with a rag and Windolene, with their breasts almost falling
out of their skimpy T-shirts. It is impossible not to look.

When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say "No" and instead ask
you for a ride to another Tesco or Asda. You agree and they get in the back seat. On the way, they start having sex with each other. Then one of them climbs over into the front seat and performs oral sex on you while you are driving. Whilst this is happening the other one steals your wallet.

I had my wallet stolen on December 14th, 19th, 20th, twice on the 27th, 29th, and 31st. Also January 4th, 5th, 6th, twice on the 7th, three times just yesterday, and very likely again this coming week.

Be careful out there,
Regards

Gurt

to drink, or not to drink

Or to be more accurate - what to drink, or what not to drink.... that is the question!

A few months ago, I was singing the praise of a good cup of tea, and all the health benefits it could bring to you - and indeed replacing your training water with a flask of tea... However it now looks as if you will have to drink your tea black, as the milk negates the health benefits. So as I am not a fan of black tea, it looks as if I was going to have to resort back to water - and then I read this - too much water can kill you!

So it begs the questions - just what is safe to drink? The only option I have come up with is cider - I was going to suggest wine, but we all know what happens when certain members of the club have a glass of wine or two!

I'll expect to see you all down at the boathouse clutching a bottle of White Lightning rather than the ubiquitous water bottle!

New Year - New Look

Thought it was time for a new look Lush...

Gurtrude got me a make over for my Christmas present - not sure what she was trying to say?!?

So thought the blog could do with one too!

Captain Look-a-like

It has been brough to my attention the following look-a-like's.....

.......

Women's captain ..vs.. 'Golden' coloured padding around a snow cannon

......
Men's Captain ..vs.. A childrens book

Ibiza on Ice

With the ski season well and truly underway, I have heard news from one touring party. Below is the official tour statement.

"This year saw the 3rd annual CBRC ski tour, and this year it was decided to invite some female entertainment along - and they didn't disappoint, often encouraging much dancing in one of the many local drinking/dancing establishments! Having seen the women out in Bristol we knew that we would need to choose a resort well known for both skiing, and après ski - and so the final choice was Andorra, Pas De La Casa. Whilst it certainly didn't disappoint with the latter, the lack of snow certainly affected the day times activities, which all I can say improved the evenings entertainments, knowing that there was not acre's of snow covered mountains to discover with a hangover the following morning.

Below is the group photo (with missing comrades - Charlie and Joe) just before we went out for our bad taste evening, which was certainly one of the best nights out I have had for a while - but you would have to ask the touring party as to how the evening went from then.



We were all of course sad to have a man down before we even left the UK, but he was remembered with a moments silence each night... but it was good to see Charlie also had a bad taste shirt on. We were almost down a second when it was discovered that a certain member's passport ran out half way through the holiday, but somehow we managed to get him there and back without any officials noticing!!

I think that all the touring party will say it was a jolly good tour, and here is to next year when we will hopefully be able to find a little more of the white stuff to play on... and a little less apple schnapps to get hung over on.

CBRC ski tours over and out for another year”

cereal box game

Some CBRC members at the news years party in Duffryn in the Welsh Valleys playing the cereal box game - and with a bit a dancing in the background. For those that don't know the game, you have to pick the box up with your mouth without touching the ground (apart from your feet). Each round you tear a bit off the top of the box until the last man is standing!

Up a valley

A few more pictures are beginning to surface, although no more naked ones thank god...

apparently the food was better on the Sunday than the Saturday

Lessons were learnt on how to pick up a box from the floor with only your mouth - although Kirsty won the competition in a hard fought battle!

The hill that felled Charlie - we wish him a speedy recovery, as the latest news is that he has had to go into hospital back in Bristol with an infected hip - Get well soon mate!

and the happy couple after she said yes!

Party Like it's 2006

The pictures and full stories from the CBRC tour to Duffryn on New Years Eve seem to be slow to come to light, though I have heard tales of singing, dancing, injury and nudity.

To keep you occupied while the photos get developed, have fun playing “Guess What’s in his Pants”. The look on Dom’s face suggests it probably wasn’t a pretty sight….

Two become one

I think that Santa must have put something in the water this Christmas time, as news of yet another CBRC proposal has come my way...

Congratulations to Rob and Rachael on their engagement.

Going Down (under)

As many of you are aware Phil (filthy) Chambers and Liz are heading down to the arse end of the world to better weather and BBQ's

Liz has already departed, but we will be sending Phil off in style on Friday 5th Jan - The plans are as follows!

Starting at Seven Shed at 7.30 http://www.severnshed.co.uk/bb_net/severnshed.htm

We will be moving on at 8.30 to another local establishment to be announced on the day.

Dress code for the evening will be 'Aussie'.

Goodbye 2006 - Hello 2007

I hope you all had a good new year - I was tucked up under a blanket in front of the fire with my cup of coco watching Big Ben on the telly, but I am getting some wind of a few titbits from around the country as to what went on new years evening.... I shall await the stories and pictures.

HOWEVER - ONE BIT OF INFO HAS REACHED ME!!

It appears that Dom has finally got his arse in gear, and asked Miss Green if she would like to become a Mrs Hall. However before she had time to answer, then were interrupted by a semi naked Zoe and Nicky (I think) - but despite the shock she said yes! That has got to be a good story for the grandkids!

So we have a CBRC wedding to look forward to sometime in the future - Congratulations Dom and Jane.

Can't wait to here what else happened at that new years eve party!