Some advice this Yule Time

As the Christmas Parties approach, there is always the chance that there will be a bunch of mistletoe hanging around….

To save any embarrassment, here is short film of what to do when you find yourself under some…

Although some of the stories I have heard, most people should know what to do by now ;-)

LTR to the rescue

Whilst visiting a particularly dark and dingy night spot on Saturday night a pair of the LTR men found themselves at the bar surveying the room for talent. One girl in particular caught their eye: she was attractive, well dressed and only a few minutes from being unconscious.

So they waited a few minutes until she’d collapsed and then dragged her out of the club. Her saucer-eyed mate seemed unconcerned claiming that ‘She took what I took and I’m OK’. The skilful LTRs manoeuvred her into the recovery position and waited for the ambulance while the bouncers tried to hunt down the bloke dealing the dodgy goods.

Sadly neither of them got the girl’s phone number. Better try harder next time chaps.

Mirror Signal Manoeuvre

Confident that his crew were going to win the race Mr Chambers decided to execute a text book hand brake turn midway through the recent Ariel head. However the crew were unwilling to carry out his request to try a reverse flick over the finish line.

2006 World Championships

There’s only a few days to go until the World Champs in Switzerland and the tension is mounting…

Ho Ho Ho.

Tis the Season....

To be Jolly, Fa la la la la, la la la la

Christmas is almost upon us, and the calendar is filling up with party invitations...

First there is the pre Christmas social this Saturday (25th) at the Thekla, then the official one on Tuesday, yes Tuesday, 12th December.... that's even before you start on the work parties!

Gurt is a little worried that the training might suffer, so watch out for all that alcohol - especially as you would not want to fall foul of The alcohol Use Disorders Identification Test (AUDIT).

Mrs Lush only got to question 5 before reaching the dangerous level of 8, so I packed her straight off to the GP's!

Remember you don't have to drink to have fun (but it helps!)

Is nothing sacred any more?

I’ve been training for the annual world pie eating contest for months and can now see off a pack of Tesco Value steak and kidney pies in under a minute.

So imagine my disgust when I heard they were changing the rules this year.

Next they’ll be telling us to sip our strawpedos in La Rocca…

Old - but not so slow

After the youngsters tried their hand at the fours head on Saturday, it was the turn of the more mature oars people to have a go.

CBRC only had one interest in this race - and again a last minute substitution was required (many sources say he was still sweating cider from the night before!)

Well done to the old g*ts who manages to get over the course in fine fashion (despite being a scratch crew, and half the crew already having done the main event, rowing and drinking, the day before) finishing 11th overall, and were only 2 seconds off being the fastest CBRC crew of the weekend!!

If that is not a good reason for the senior squad to get on with the training I don't know what is!

Shock and Awe

There were mixed emotions on the Tideway on Saturday with some crews pulling out all the stops with some pretty impressive results while others couldn’t quite get things together on the day.

The smart money was on the coxless fours with both the Men’s and Women’s boats being quickest of their respective squads.
S2 4- 147th overall and 24/48 in their category
WE 4- 353rd overall and 9/13


The quad suffered from the loss of their 3 man and LRC’s offering as a substitute struggled to slot in effectively. 2 of the crew enjoyed a better race at the Vet Fours head on Sunday (result to follow).
S2 4x 182nd overall and 42/51

The real action took place amongst the coxed fours. I can only imagine Ruth had had a few too many pies last week given the men’s boat’s final result. Amongst the Women, Welsh Boat managed to deliver the quickest time but only just as City Of Bristol were just 4 seconds behind. Windfall always looked to be a long shot and came in third fastest.
S2 4+ 382nd overall and 35/35
WS3 4+ (Welsh) 402nd overall and 13/50
WS3 4+ (CoB) 404th overll and 14/50
WS3 4+ (WF) 450th overall and 30/50

Looks like it’s going to be quite a scrap for places in the top Women’s 8!
However Rhiannon might need to draft in a few extra recruits before March...

Full Results
All the Photos

All Aboard

It’s been a bit quiet on the social side of the club for a while now, some say too quiet.

Here to rectify this are the club's very own 3am girls and they are inviting everyone to embark on a voyage of revelry next Saturday aboard the newly refurbished Thekla. I’m told the fresh lick of paint has made all the difference and they’ve even managed to get rid of that weird smell below decks.

The reasons for the night out are many and varied and include the celebration of Nicky Heappy’s Birthday, celebrations with or commiserations to the 4’s head crews, the start of the festive party season, a chance to meet the LTR squads, etc.etc.
All are encouraged to attend so tell a friend. More info to follow.

See you on the poop deck for a Bloody Mary.

BetLush - Starting Prices

An eventful final week has seen a number of the crews settling into their race pace, and discovering things about each other that they certainly didn't know before...

The Blokes

Brett
The rumour on the circuit is that one member of the crew has been firing down the best that Cow & Gate can offer as race fuel. The concern from his team mates is the results - solid, liquid or gas? With race preps slightly disrupted this crew appears to have gelled well in the last few days, and should give a competitive showing. A final outing for for Jimmy and Marcus should push the betting in to 6-1Fav.

Brownsword
The revised line up is, as promised, showing power! Although the market says this is not always a good thing... With the renowned bendy course ahead of them, we hear that Morgan is struggling to keep Crusher's power under control, and keeps aiming it at the bank. Time will tell if Crusher can be tamed, and Morgan can take some of his dancefloor prowess, and keep his foot movements under control. Holding steady at 13-2

Sid
A difficult one to sum up, this five-some (or some might say six-some). They have been seen delivering well above their previous form this week. Is it their training finally coming good, is it a higher level of concentration, or is it the subbed-in stroke man? Who knows.

The Tideway could yet be their undoing - a longshot at 17-1

The Burds

Welsh Boat
Forgive me if I am wrong, but this was definitely a mixed crew when I saw them earlier in the week. Did I see (the inevitable) Sniffer taking Rhiannon's seat? What effect will this have? Who knows? I hear they have recovered from UT, but there is still a small question mark over form - especially in the light of the City of Bristol numbers... Showing well at 6-1.

Farn
Nothing I have seen recently worries the form book. However, Kirsty has been seen driving everywhere this week in reverse... Some say it will undoubtedly improve her steering - others say she might forget to follow the rest of the crew! Having said that, nevermind the steering, its City of Bristol that should be watched - if the training figures are to be believed! Moving in at 11-2.

City of Bristol
Well, what can I say? Claims have surfaced this week that City of Bristol have been to the tunnels and back in 18 minutes. Flipping marvellous. I wish I had been there to see the Bristol Head course record broken (Cambridge Lightweights 10m09 - 1997), becasue clearly we should all be watching this one. Nevermind "look out Welsh Boat", more like "look out Brett". Well backed into 7-1.

Windfall
The mystique continues. This is the unexpected package. No-one even knows if they have been training at Bristol, they have been so far below the radar. There is some chat about styles of training - but dont write them off, history has proven they are worth a flutter at 20-1.

BetLush Tip of The Day - take your wellies!

A Lady or a Boy?

I’m sure you’ve all had that awkward moment when the young ‘lady’ that you have managed to seduce in a dark corner of La Rocca turns out to be rather less female that you had hoped…or maybe it’s just me.

Anyway, see how you fare in the cold light of day with this thrilling quiz.

TV On Demand

The trouble with rowing training is that it gets in the way of high quality sofa time in front of the tele.
However, thanks to some highly suspect copyright infringement you can now catch up on your favourite TV shows whenever you like, or rather whenever you're not on the docks: http://tvlinks.voodeedoo.org/

Place your bids...

Proof that you can buy anything on eBay these days (click to make it readable):

'er Indoors

All the best to Julia, Jane and Tony for the British Indoor Rowing Championships in Brum on Sunday.

I'm sure there are usually more people from the the club doing this?

Firework Display

There are many ways to get out of doing an erg but this is just ridiculous.

BETlush '06 Update

There have been tears, tantrums and tribulations within the fours head crews over the last few weeks and BETlush has been watching with interest. Wallets at the ready for the latest odds...

The Blokes

Brett
A disappointing result at UT head may have knocked the quad’s confidence and with it the confidence of the punters. Some blame the foreigner in the bows while others suspect that stroke just isn’t eating enough. Much to do before the big day with odds lengthening to 19-2

Brownsword
The big men have shown that their momentum can certainly get the boat shifting but many worry that the bowman’s ‘Bonnie and Clyde’ steering could lose them seconds on the day. Sickness in the stern has set back their last few days training but they are looking to shape up for a strong row next week. Moving up as favourites at 6-1.

Sid
At times this five-some seemed to be on the brink of self destructing with hand bags poised and ready for swinging. Injury and illness have dogged the crew over the last two weeks and most are holding back to see what form they are in nearer the day of the race, if indeed they make it to the start line. A reserved 17-1

The Burds

Welsh Boat
Power is nothing without control but these girls seem to have plenty of both. An unfortunate set back at UT head that left them off the podium has only helped to fire up the crew to perform at the main event. But will they have the stamina to keep the speed going through to the finish? Have they done enough to keep Farn and CoB at bay? Still worth a flutter at 13-2.

Farn
Putting the grrr in eagerness these four have shown true commitment to their training and are looking tidy as a result. Bow is said to be overcoming her fear of steering the course by practicing each evening with a map of the tideway and a shoe screwed onto a plank. With less weight to carry and a higher starting position they could just pip the coxed boats. An optimistic 7-1.

City Of Bristol
Rumour on the docks is that these plucky young ladies are the ones to watch. A recent head to head with the mighty Welshboat left little between them and some long distance ergs will help to make sure they can push through the pain barrier at Hamersmith. However the question to ask is: does size matter? Holding firm at 17-2.

Windfall
Choosing to train at different times has helped to maintain the mystique of this crew. The boat has a strong record but are the crew able to fill the shoes of last year’s victors? They are starting to show some useful rhythm but are left with everything to prove. One for the chancers at 19-1.

Lechyd da!

Mr Castle showed his true allegiance at the weekend.

Maybe that’s why he has a big fluffy haircut?

Self Sacrifice

The Lush has been informed of a stern e-mail from the Women’s captain telling her squad that there will be compulsory attendance at the training camp on 13th and 14th January. Failure to attend will jeopardise selection for the Women’s Eights Head crews.

Given that said captain will be Andorra that weekend she clearly doubts her chances of being selected…

Cox Idol

“Your calls were weak and badly timed and I would have expected Stevie Wonder to steer a better course….”.

Just some of the comments from Xiang Cowell during the auditions for the ‘China Olympic Coxswain Competition’.

Gurt's Problem Page

"Dear Gurt ,

I've never written to you before, but I really need your advice on what could be a crucial decision. I've suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs... phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out with the girls a lot recently although when I ask their names she always says, "Just some friends from work, you don't know them."

I always stay awake to look out for her taxi coming home, but she always walks down the drive. Although I can hear a car driving off, as if she has gotten out of the car round the corner. Why? Maybe she wasn't in a taxi? I once picked her cell phone up just to see what time it was and she went berserk and screamed that I should never touch her phone again and why was I checking up on her.

Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my wife. I think deep down I just didn't want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to really check on her. I decided I was going to put my new Lola Scull next to the garage and then hide behind it so I could get a good view of the whole street when she came home. It was at that moment, crouching behind my boat, that I noticed that the pitch was slightly out on the new carbon fibre wing rigger, causing an unsual profile on the new quick release gates. Is this something I can fix myself or should I take it back to the dealer?

Thanks,
....(Name witheld)"

The Times They are A-Changing

The view from the water on Temple Back is soon to look a bit different:

www.templeback.com

Woman of the Year Awards?

I have received two nominations for this award so far but not sure they are really what the selection comitee are after:
Candidate #1

Candidate #2

Man of the Year Awards Pt.3 & 4

Candidate #3
Having many wives necessitates having an MPV…
Candidate #4
Is this what they call power water work?

Brass Monkeys

It’s a bit nippy out so remember:
Wrap up when out training & Keep Warm, Keep Well

Man of the Year Awards Pt. 2

Candidate #2
Our second candidate looks particularly smug and with good reason, he’s got a brolly and a beer. It’s pretty useful that his girlfriend is carrying more for him too…