Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Swimmety swim

What a morning.
No sooner had I raised my tousled head from the old bags and newspaper littering the gutter outside my abode and staggered back into the shelter, than I was on the receiving end of some frankly mirth making news.

It's not unknown in the summer time for some fair weather scullers to brave the skinny little singles and take to the water in the morning sun with the hope of showing off their toned, sweaty physiques to a bleary eyed commuter or two.

One such paddler is none other than Captain Andy 'Lollipop legs' Porter. Upon arriving at the boathouse and bleating about how there was a bit of wind and the water "...isn't mirror flat...", he none the less decided to chance the elements and toddled off to have a paddle.

But oh no. Disaster.
One witness described the event as "...delicate. Like a china rose slowly falling onto the flag stones to suddenly be smashed to smithereens..." while another was too busy drying his lycra after laughing so much to make intelligible comment.

Yes, Capt Porter made the ultimate sacrifice for his sport and whilst quietly mumbling the phrase "Oh dear, I appear to be falling into the briny." or words to that effect, slipped slowly sideways into the water. Then spent a good five minutes giving the docklands a view of his soggy posterior as he tried to shimmy back into his craft.

But after all that, he still managed to keep his perm dry. We salute you, sir.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

It happens to the best of us Andy... I'm suprised Mr Lush didn't hear about Russel's paddle last wednesday night (or the fact that he and 3 other fat-lads were wearing swimming trunks and driving a pink boat).

Gurt Lush said...

I thought I'd lull them into a false sense of security before I brought that up.
Plus: You can't hide behind "anonymous", Mr Porter, particularly when you try and shift the salmon of the month award onto someone else!