Royal Visit

I'm amazed that BBC Points West didn't pick up on this story but apparantly HRH Prince William decided to enjoy a few drinks in Bristol on Saturday.
The debonair heir to the throne had been playing polo in the West Country that day and decided to sample some of our fair city's finest cider after the match. You would have thought he would have got changed out of his polo kit first...

Getting Cosy in Comfy Pt. 2

f there’s one thing you can rely on it’s that if you mix alcohol, young ladies and Stuey you are guaranteed to produce a story. Luckily Saturday night was no exception.
The lothario with the immaculate coiffure found himself in a passionate embrace with one of the party's hangers-on in a dark corner of Comfy in the early hours of the morning.

However the story doesn’t end there. During a brief moment when the couple had to surface for air, Stuey decided to have a bit of chat with the Red Squirrel. No one is quite sure what the topic of conversation was but rumour has it they began to argue as to who could pull the better ergo score. The matter could not be resolved within the club and Stuey was invited to ‘take it outside’. Unfortunately the bouncers must have misinterpreted his intentions and decided he was far too dangerous a character to be let back in and issued him with a one-night ban from the club.
They obviously didn’t know that he’s a lover not a fighter!

Thanks Dr. L!

The Men's 1st VIII have asked me to pass on this message to Katy after she bailed them out last night and agreed to cox.
"Thanks for coxing us Katy, it really was beyond the call of duty. Remember to leave your wallet at home for the next club social as you are owed at least 8 drinks (surely that's just from Steve - Ed). If you find yourself at a loose end in the summer then we'd love to have you steer us again! P.S. Glad you enjoyed our ratio."

It sounds to me like they are trying to practice the ancient art of cox poaching.....

Getting Cosy In Comfy Pt.1

The residents of the Comfy dancefloor were dazzled by the moves and skills of the drunken rowers on Saturday night.
Mr Beaver was on particularly good form for most of the night but got carried away when a tune came on from his favourite record label. It seems the flying splits were too much for the maths teacher and so emergency physiotherapy was required. As luck would have it a trained professional was on hand to administer the treatment, though her technique was somewhat unconventional.

Nuts

I was up early on Saturday to watch the sun rise over Broadmead (a glorious sight on a winters morning) and was lucky enough to spot Dom and Rob B. training for what must be a new form of triathlon.
The first discipline appeared to be rowing, as they set off in a pair up the docks. They then proceeded to stop, carry out some sort of balancing exercise and then park the boat (very gingerly) at Princes Street Bridge ready for the next discipline: the boat carry. The hapless duo then carried their boat, bare foot, all the way back to the boat club. The final discipline involved putting a new set of washers and top nut on the gate and making sure it was all tightened up.

I’m not sure if this Row-Run-Rig event will catch on!

Have you got an Alibi?

It started like so many impromptu Saturday night sessions with: "Do you fancy a couple of quiet drinks in Alibi?..." A few quiet drinks turned to many raucous rounds and the motley collection of oarsfolk and associated hangers-on were soon in the mood for dancing and proceeded to Comfy.

This is where all sorts of interesting, and sometimes shocking, happenings took place.

I am still gathering all the facts for what happened in there from those that witnessed the events but hope to be able to report the full story shortly.
Stay tuned......

Rowing....TO THE MAX!!

Rowing often has an image of being a sport for gentlemen and ladies brought up on a diet of Pimms and strawberries and most of the members of CBRC conform to this stereotype(!). This can be off-putting for the kind of people who when reffering to a blazer are talking about the latest hippity hoppity 'song'.
In an effort to appeal to the yoofs of today I looked to the experts in the field of making things 'cool', 'hip' and, dare I say, 'sexy' to create a promotional video for the sport.
See what you think of their efforts here.
(warning topless rowing content)

Closet Frisbee Boy

You see Dominic Hall: "Man Mountain" and piece of meat in the 4 seat...

But it wasn't always like that.

Once upon a time he was deft of hand and fleet of foot. He even sported a shocking haircut.

Judge for yourself, then take the p*ss!

http://www.ukultimate.com/2005/board/Dominic.aspx

Crew saving technology

After recent fears over the number of injuries in the 1st 8 crew, they have been forced into the early adoption the latest advance in blade technology...
In a quote from the mens captain, himself sidlined as reported earlier, "due to a number of injuries, we have had to move forward with this as yet untested new blade design. We hope to save weight, and only use Dom and Morgan to get us into the top 100 at HORR."

Animal Antics

It seems that less than half of Brits think that the theory of evolution is correct according to a recent survey.
I for one am a great believer in Darwin’s studies as I’m sure that the animals are getting smarter. Just last night I spotted a brace of beavers paddling up and down the docks in a pair. This morning saw a similar display of intelligence from seemingly simian beasts as they slogged away on the ergos at the crack of dawn, proving the writers of this advert wrong.

(Thanks to the Slug for the picture)

The Raven Has Landed

After months, if not years of haggling, borrowing, begging and bartering the club has finally bought a new men’s eight. The new Aylings AX2, named Raven, was picked up at the weekend and is now in the boathouse waiting for her maiden outing.

The trouble is there are so many injuries plaguing the 1st 8 that it looks likely to stay in the boathouse for a few more days yet. Steve seems to be having particular difficulty with a mysterious wrist injury, however accusations that he developed the swollen wrist while trying to relieve stress after reading the BBC article mentioned a few days ago are unproven….

Tour of Slough

Sorry about the silence for the last few days, I’ve just got back from a little trip to Slough at the weekend. I’ve spent the last few days drinking in the Sales Rep’s Retreat, a charming little boozer next to the Traveltavern just off the A4, while waiting for the men’s squad to arrive for their training camp. Trouble is it turns out they booked into the Travlelodge just down the road so I missed them.

Luckily I wasn’t the only one to make this elementary error as Coach, George and Rob B managed to book the Travelinn a few miles away. There was only a small amount of embarrassment when they tried to check in to the ‘Lodge with their ‘Inn booking form!

"W-w-w-w-what's that you say?"

In the wake of my retirement from the post of Town Cryer in my once adopted home of Nempnett Thrubwell in 1985, I asked some friends of mine to investigate...

As ever, my high-brow compatriates have been hard at work, and have come up the the perfect answer to overcoming those nerves.

You be pleased to now that I am now on a strict diet, administered by the lovely Gurtrude. I can recommend it!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/4646010.stm

Oh Yey!

Wedding Bells

And so the day will be finally on us this weekend...

After years of persuasion through the showering of gifts, romantic weekends away, champagne, chocolates, sweaty lycra, and no energy left for luvvin', our very own Mr Lang is to be wed to the long suffering Claire.

Claire is clearly a woman of taste however, as can be seen by this photo - taken the night they met...
The very best of luck to both of you from all at CBRC, and we hope you have a fantastic day!

The Cider Diet

I have spent sometime over the last two weeks putting the finishing touches on my new Cider Diet.

Whilst perusing the health food options to compliment cider, I came across the following - The Great Dane Burger:



I have ordered 24 to ensure the mens squad are fully fuelled for their training camp this weekend. Call the police!

Cheers Then

A big thanks to my guest presenters over the last two weeks.

I am sure you have all been well entertained by the exploits of the contestants of the BBBH2006, and the semi-naked men Gurtrude couldn't leave in her private collection!

Well, now you've got me back.

I can promise a return to the same mediocre cider haze that you have come to know and love...

I have missed you all.
Gurt

Can I borrow your shoes?

We've all done it haven't we? Mistaking the feeling of needing a wee wee for pre-match nerves and think we can hold on a little longer? Some of us can hold on until the proper receptable is available, some choose to stand up and without shame tinkle over the side of the boat, with females requiring more skill than men if using this option. Big Man Crush has been known to store his in a bottle, Ms Gregg prefers a tupperare container hidden distretely under her seat in the boat (although this doesn't stop her standing up to take her lycra off...)

but who uses a shoe?

Not the most waterproof of vessels, making a new and interesting selection in the field of piss pots, a member of the women's squad favoured this article of clothing as her pee pee vessel. Take care wont you when going 'above heads' with the blue boat.... Good thing its for sale!

Messing about on the River

Its fair to say that Brian pulled it out of the bag this weekend. With metal rods and mesh in pieces in the boat house on Saturday afternoon, we had our doubts but the man is truly a miracle worker. With only one slight hitch when the ramp collapsed, crews were launched with military precision.

Less can be said of the rowers however after the senior men's boat's riggers were found to be carefully stored away back at the clubhouse and the women's novice 8 launched late with 6 oars, a borrowed life jacket and no cox box.

All crews seemed to enjoy themselves and we got on the telly, radio, interweb and paper thanks to Caroline!

Avon Gorge Head

Pete Vallance will be testing his best speaking voice tomorrow morning live our very own BBC Bristol Radio to talk about Sunday's head race. He'll be on from 8.45 and fortunately for him, most of us will be rowing.

We should also be appearing in the Evening Post too so keep a look out.

Best of luck to everyone entering the wacky races and particularly to the WJ15 single sculler from Dartmouth who will be closely followed by 6 men's doubles. Full draw is on our website.

Ever said something you wished you hadn't?

Why is it always the sport commentators who make these bloopers?

Was that live?

Oh my God, what have I just said?