City of Oxford Regatta: Exhibit A

My Lord, members of the jury, I put it to you that the defendant is in fact innocent, and is the victim of an elaborate set up.

She was part of a well trained, elite crew of rowers who merely attempted to do their best at the City of Oxford regatta. The accused was not only seated, but involved in an extreme form of exercise, when the incident happened...

As clearly shown on this piece of video evidence Link the white bird in question was guitly of an attack on our vegetarian defendant - not the other way round!

The fact that the bird, shall we call it a "swan", failed to resurface after the incident is just unfortunate! Shame we couldn't make the most of it for supper...