just when you thought it would never happen...

It appears that Miss Greg, will be practising a new signature of Mrs Chambers.... you may notice (apart from the sunny warm looking weather) the shining rock on her finger in the second picture!

scullers' head

Bristol Competitors to look out for:

23. Super slick Jack Mellor
80. Pocket battleship M.Duffy
152. From the darkside R.Mckensie
181. LWT Ali Kocho-Williams
269. FCUK Nadia Balhi
339. Ever Present Hazel Fullman
399. Battleship Crusher No 399
502. Ratemeter Graham Davidson No 502

Placings
Mellor or McKensie? Are you a gambler?
M. Duffy Bristol's own Daniel Craig? But unlikely to finish in 007th
Crusher - can the 'squatter of somerset' mow the course down?
Nadia or Graham - just one second divided them at Cardiff - will the external competition give Nadia the motivation to get that extra length on Graham?
Hazel or Ali - Both have left the kids at home, but will breastfeeding take its toll on ali?

know pain. know gain. know hoodie.

Does anyone out there still look on this blog? YES! You do.

Well here's a reminder to get your hoodie orders in to Zoe before 19th December. I'm going to get Reet and Randy one to share for Christmas, though i'm not sure Randy will quite fit into an XXL.

Contact Zoe for more details

She can also cook a mean quiche

Votes in, texts counted, but without a hint of the winner being picked before the show had ended:

The winner is CBRC's Jane Hall! ARA Volunteer of the Year 2008

Here's what the committee had to say about her.

Not content with all that work Jane also found time to play with Dom and not two weeks back produced the newest member of CBRC: little Rosemary Megan Hall (although apparently she's going to have trouble fitting into the shoes).



Congrats to Jane, and also Jane and Dom (to be fair, he did help a bit).

promoting diversity

Dear Bristol folk,
it has been once again drawn to my attention that to address you all as 'oarsfolk' is no longer appropriate. It seems that CBRC's diversity policies are reaching far and wide these days - mountain bikers, runners, triathletes. What next, (pub)golf? Now, it seems one of our most stalwart members has put down her blade to take to the saddle. She still needs the lycra though...

It's a marathon not a sprint

Report from one of our intrepid marathoneers:

Weather was good for a spot of rowing in a ditch in Lincolnshire. Womens VIII best COBRC time took longer driving home than it took to row the 50K. A wrong turning & an M6 delay, organisation had nothing to do with it! The battleship just fitted in the Dyke. Crusher in next with a respectable 4.18 but with women, juniors & vets in front and Nadia only 4 minutes behind. Junior j16's averaging at J14 4X- at 4.39 clear winners in their category. Sophie Dun the bravest of all coming in around the five hours. Sore arses, sore hands and T shirts for all. Hanham may see more COBRC crews training for next year.

Any photos??

Has Gurt died?

Oarsfolk of Bristol, good morning to one and all. Gurt has reached a crossroads in his career. At a time when corner shops are closing, Tescos are springing up everywhere. The local cinema is closed, the multiplex booms. Folks, Facebook is killing me, see you all in hell! I feel snubbed, not invited to the party, with no place in the modern world. Randy has taken up patchwork, Reet has re-joined Gala Bingo. The irony is I have a truly incredible story to break to you. Who wants to hear it?? BetLush offers the following story characters:

Jimmy & Lauren Evens
Morgan and a local farmyard 2-1
Colin's sandwich 4-1
Naomi's head scarf incident 8-1
Diego and his bent rudder 11-1

Any takers?

Big hug to all
Gurt (considering coming back)

Bums away...

With a large contingent of CBRC heading down to Perranporth this weekend there should be all hell breaking loose in Cornwall....

Especially when considering this motley crew is organising the trip!

Picture also appearing in this month's copy of Rowing and Regatta Magazine!

A brace

It seems we have some super stars in our midst. Not quite content with beating all and sundry at MET last month, Billy and Sean chose to take on the cream of the crop at Nat champs this weekend just gone. A very respectable 4th place behind two Leander pairs and another from Glasgow Uni (it's worth mentioning that they stuck it to a pair from Tideway Scullers too).
Another crew worthy of mention is the Women's S2 4+ at Llandaff composed of Bronwen, Caroline, Zoe, Tracy and Capitano Lancaster doing the steering.

But before all this the mighty Crusher pounded the oppo, losing his N plates in the single scull at Ironbridge at the end of June.

Wins, people, wins! It's what we like to see.

By the way, if you think something is worth reporting, like someone touching someone else innapproiately or someone doing something hilariously amusing, then share it.
Especially naked stuff.

Cheers me darlins.

Be Prepared

A message from Crush...

Tour Preparation. Step 1:

Morgan opens his legs for charity

Dear oarsfolks of Bristol,
the funniest thing that has happened for ages is upon us - Morgan is running a half-marathon! Please sponsor him at the link below, he's raising money for a very good cause:

http://www.justgiving.com/morganspecht

If he raises £800, he has promised to run in a Bristol racing lycra. That's surely worth a bob or two!

No comment

Just... No.
http://timesonline.typepad.com/surf_nation/2008/07/are-speedos-a-g.html
*Warning: The above link is not safe for work/home/your eyes*

Maundy Thursday

Oarsfolk of Bristol, for another year CBRC’s Henley Royal Regatta campaign is over. Both crews were knocked out on the Wednesday by some classy opposition.

The ‘B’ crew entertained first, with a quick start that gave Belfast a scare, before the Ulstermen gradually edged away to produce a 2 ¼ length deserved victory. Rumour has it that the ‘B’ crew improved rapidly in the days leading up to HRR, taking all challengers off the stake boat on practice starts, and retaining their coveted title of being ‘unbeaten as far as the Temple’! The crew were pleased with their row and have enjoyed their season. Their photos and footage on rowtv always seem to indicate a highly agreeable, technical crew, but ultimately without the raw power to really challenge the best (although if wind power is what you’re after, middle four can always be relied upon. Another curry anyone?).

The ‘A’ crew raced in the afternoon in a clash with one of the favourites Leander Club. And the boys gave them a great battle, going down by 2 lengths in one of the events quickest races of the day. The A crew have put in an awful lot of time and effort into their HRR campaign and it was no fluke that they pushed Leander all the way. Many punters on the bank raised impressed eyebrows to see our boys more than hold their own, and in the post-race handshakes the Leander crew knew they’d been in a race.

So, some well-deserved Pimm’s and relaxing on deck chairs now? Roll on Friday’s social gathering! And what next for the men’s squad? A big well done to the whole men’s squad, for all their efforts and commitment.

Well hung, drawn...

but by no means quartered (no, I know it doesn't make sense really. But I couldn't think of anything else with "draw" in it...)

Henley Qualifiers. Been and gone. Dealt with. Smashed to bits by both the 1st 8 and the sculling 8.

The Friday night action didn't disappoint. The 1st 8 set off behind Christchurch, with the scullers the next crew off after that. The wind, being an ever present joy this summer, made its presence known just after the Temple and continued to bounce around pretty much all the way down the course.
But after months on the docks with the gorge funnelling the channel wind and CoBRC being the gust-masters they are, both crews romped home inside the qualifying time.

After a jubilant evening on the town (more so than others in some cases) crews waited with baited breathe for the draw on Saturday afternoon.

As follows:
City of Bristol A vs. Leander
City of Bristol B vs. Belfast.

Provisional race times are out, with the Scullers on at 10:30am and the 1st 8 at 3pm.

Sufficed to say no-one will forget where they were when they heard that two City of Bristol 8s had stormed through to Thursday at Henley!

Friday night out on the town

Not long now till the Bristol lads do their little time trials.

Good luck boys.

Reaching Out, Touching Me, Touching You

Whilst the Henley crews were up on the Feeder on Tuesday night, a large proportion of Bristol's inhabitants stepped out to run for British Heart Foundation. When the fun and games were over it was just the paddlers that were still active on the docks, or so we thought...

As regulars will have seen, the surfboat (Sweet Caroline) is often practising its bizarre 180 degree spins down by the Lloyds building. Little did they know that the DJ from BHF Run HQ was partial to a bit of the Honorable President himself, and the sound of Neil Diamond flowed forth from their PA.

It is rare that rowers grab the full attention of the early evening masses, but even the diners in The Olive Shed were swaying their arms in time!

Far too eager Beever

How does he find time what with work and Henley training?
I think Rhiannon might have to have a quiet word...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/7472988.stm

But then again he's always been controversial.

What a lovely Pair

News has filtered through the haze of early season Pimms of a fine pair, seen joggling back and forth quickly and in time with a nice rhythm. Not so little Billyboy Downey and his chum and bowman extraordinaire Sean have set a first and done themselves and the club proud by spanking a number of other crews good and proper.

The lads won Senior 2 coxless pairs at Marlow on Sunday in appalling conditions. This apparently after Billy was reprimanded on the start line by an official for swigging on his water bottle and gazing wistfully into the distance. A couple of gleaming medals and a plaque are now safe and sound in Bristol.

Well done lads. Something for the rest of the club to live up to next year.
And if anyone wants an insight into how such a thing can come to pass, have a look at this little chap from a couple of years back. Proof that WeightGain2000 really works.

And through the hiss and static on the grapevine... News is coming in about an epidemic of coughs, colds and runny noses. Apparently there's a good deal of sniffing going on down the club.

Ladies that Row

Being a butch manly man and not one to attend such functions that have the word "Women's" in the title, I inadvertently overlooked the fact that there were lots of birds in spandex getting sweaty all at the same time last week. So it's up to Dr K to fill us all in:

A rather successful Women's Henley

The 'serious' competitive season for the women's squad traditionally ends with Women's Henley. After a succession of disappointments, the four crews entered (another record for CoBRC?) were determined to set the record straight.

Friday saw qualifying races for the Intermediate 8 (our novices, from cox to bow Kathryn, Caya, Caroline B, Anne, Naomi, Lucy, Emma D, Amy and Emily K), the Intermediate 4 (our top crew: Diego, Rachael, Jihan, Bekki and Emma W) and the Senior 4 (Emily A, Tracy, Zoe, Caroline R and Bronny). No disappointments here, as all three crews rowed their socks off and secured their places in the regatta proper.

First round races also took place on Friday for both intermediate crews. The four saw off Bristol Uni with a solid row, proving themselves as a class act in the field, and re-affirming our position as the best of the south west. The eight (novices, remember!) excelled themselves yet again. Despite coming off worse at the start, they kept their heads and stormed through Upper Thames (just as they passed their own clubhouse, I am told) to come home with an impressive victory.

This meant a real treat for CoBRC fans, as no less than FOUR crews (with the addition of Nadia in the lightweight 1x) would be racing on Saturday!

Nadia committed to her strongest possible row, yet lost out to a sculler from Exeter Uni by just 3 lengths. We applaud her dedication and hope she's been treating herself with plenty of cakes now that the scales are less important!

The intermediate four drew York City who they'd been close to before, and pulled out all the stops to try and beat them. Despite having half a length lead after their blistering start, the southerners had to concede to the northerners, who were the eventual runners up. Another unrepresentative result for CoBRC (but at least it wasn't the first round this year!)

The senior 4 (weighing an estimated half as much as their rather beastly opponents from Newcastle University) were also disappointed, but remained upbeat since even qualifying at senior status is an achievement in itself. Check them out looking rather tidy in the time trials: http://www.rowtv.co.uk/ (I assume other videos will follow).

A pre-race disaster struck for the novices, when Emily was signed off at the 11th hour. Their cox, Kathryn, bravely jumped into the bow seat at the last minute (despite not having rowed for a couple of months due to coxing duties) and James jumped in to the coxes seat (I doubt he regarded this as a hardship!) The plucky lasses gave their all, but Osiris A were just too strong and eventually went on to win the event.

I would not wish to end on a negative note! This is the biggest regatta in the women's calendar and to have 4 crews very much 'on the pace' is a fantastic result for our little club. VERY WELL DONE to you all, and I will be there next year with bells on! Here's to a summer of fun, pots, and soggy ex-novices.....

Captain K.

Well done all you luverly ladies. Now you can all have a rest and get back to sunbathing on the landing stage for all the poor lads who are still training their not-so-little socks off.

down...but not out

The second round of the Surfboat league went off with degrees of incident over the weekend.

The Bristol Hermaphrodites evolved into the Bristol Lobsters and celebrated this new monicker by borrowing a sweep (cox in old money) from Saunton Sands SLSC for their first round. The excitement was further heightened when they caught a wave on the return leg, in a very difficult choppy swell. When secure in a solid fourth place, a small crab was caught...

At this stage, on flat water, the worst you could expect is the ejection of the offending crew member. When on a wave, and a 3ft swell, the result was instant - a full capsize! The boys then made their way to the beach dragging a 250kg boat, with the pumps on full to expel all that water. Top paddling lads!

The Barracudas continued their assault on the title. The heats delivered a new start (involving standing on the seat??), and a handful of podium places (2nd, 1st and 3rd). Scalps taken during the day included Twickenham (manned by 2 former world champions) and Molesey, who crossed lanes with the Barracudas twice! The second time they tried it, 2nd Bow (Crush) suggested to their sweep that if they would like to get any closer he would "stick his balde up his a**e" (!). In a radical departure from normal rowing umpire's approach to such behaviour, this was deemed "Fair game" in the surf!

Depsite all that, The Barracudas were reminded of the "Fair Play Guide" at the post race beer-off. Naughty boys...

The day was rounded out with the boys securing a move up the league table from 6th to 4th. Now only 2 points behind 2nd, and all to play for gunning for Portreath and Perranporth.

(oh, and i am also aware of some wimmin's rowing at the weekend? anyone know anything about that? Bewdley was it? And something about Downey Jnr posting a victory with 2 Seniors before downing a bottle of full-bodied Merlow. What? I might have my wires crossed.)

Once more unto the small posh town in Oxfordshire, dear friends

Roit up the gurly massive, moi luvvers.
Them birds are going at it large at Women's Henley this day.

Good luck to all lady crews from Bristol.

METrosexual rowing

Ooer ooer a bit late with this one ladies and non-lady rowers. It's all the bar training on the run up to Henners.
MET regatta's been and gone! Where were you?

It was a weekend of swift racing and up to the line bowball breakers.

Saturday
The Women's Senior 3 4+ had the best racing of the day, seeing off everyone in their first heat comfortably, but missing out on the bronze spot in the final by a few seconds.
Also in a similar situation were the sweeping scullers in the Senior 3 8s who made it through to their semi quite happily but even though they put in a slightly quicker time in the next race were put down by a flotilla of cheeky students taking the top places.
The men's first 8 made an audacious move to take on the big boys in the Senior 1 and Senior 2, like last year, but were unfortunately 'in the wrong heat' for S2. Any other heat would have seen them in the Rep.
But a crowning turnip of achievement to the novice girls making their regatta debut in style but entering the S3 8s. Even a handful of crabs in the last 100m didn't stop them coming middle of the field in an event so heavily subscribed that it was only first 2 through to the final.
And finally to the resident lonely long distance sculler. Nadia pounded her way up another stupidly long course to finish 4th in her heat again just pipped, like so many City crews, to a spot in the final/rep by one place.

Sunday
Two ladies fours were out first thing on Sunday, both at Senior 2. The early birds didn't quite catch the worms this time as neither quite made it through to the semis.
Bit of a shift around as the Sculling 8 went up to S2 and the 1st 8 levelled out at S1. Unfortunately the 1st 8 could have done with a few more inches all round (or so I hear on the grapevine, which incidentally is positively bursting with juice at the moment. But that's for another day) as they missed out on the rep again by a fraction of a (bow) ball.
A swift ditching of four of the 8 left an S1 coxed four out on the water for another couple of paddles up and down the lake, and this foolhardy handful showed the burger chompers a thing or two by making it through to the rep without a bother.
The Scullers made a show of it and spanked down the course again for the rep in their category. Only one through to the final though, and those students were at it again. Listening to post race goss, it's the general consensus that Murph needs a couple less pies a day, while Billy could do with a few more weights to try and make his shoulders wider than his Jolie-bum.
The little novice lasses were S3ing it on Sunday too and yet again (which leads Oi to think that there might be some sneaky fixing going on somewhere) the rep was missed by only one spot and a couple of seconds.

So in short a little bit of a disappointing couple of days racing, but a decisive lesson if ever there was one to keep hammering for the line.

Next stop: Reading! (Tomorrow! Get the jaffas in)

Paddling in to the big Times

Oarsfolk of Bristol,
surely with Henley just around the corner, some of our athletes are attracting press coverage in the Nationals? Yes, you better believe it - The Times no less!

http://timesonline.typepad.com/surf_nation/2008/06/porthtowan-blue.html#more

'What's the crack?' you might ask. Bristol has never been so proud of its hairy bottoms...

Wedged up and raring to go!

A report from one of my cousins from the first surfboating race of the season.

(advisory - you may want to look away when you getting to the bottom of the report - picture contains some serious wedging!)

Dear Gurt

The pioneers of surfboating made their first official entry in the UKSRL this weekend, at Round 1 in Porthcawl, South Wales as the Bristol Barracudas.

Armed with a ratpack soundtrack the crew, Dom, Crush, Chris and Rus headed for the beach with their recently delivered surfboat, "Sweet Caroline". The surf was calm, showing barely 3 feet, but it was enough to provide some small amounts of fun.

Over three rounds the boys produced a second and two thirds. Picture of the day was the consternation shown on their faces when their 3 length clear water lead was eaten up by a wave, and they finished third. The other choice moment was seeing Dom exit the boat to commence his first sprint up the beach - only to find himself three feet deep in water, and face-planting. Genius!

The results in the heats was enough to get them into the "Golden Nugget" final.

After a strong start, a solid turn, and a monster wind-up the boys found themselves on a wave alongside four of the other five boats. Dom's sprint proved that a bunch of new boys can turn up, and throw the form book behind the bar with a second place finish.

A quick word about the Bristol Hermaphrodites. A top performance by the Surfboat novices, who learned how to start, and how to turn about 5 minutes before the first heat! Already brimming with enthusiasm for the next round, we are all hoping for a name change before they race.

I am leaving the next round in Saunton Sands (21st June) to you.

Your long lost cousin

Gethin Llush

Slippery when wet

Yes yes ok. It's only fair to mention another un-ceremonial dunking in the docks that took place last week.
As most of you will no doubt know surf-boat fever is once again gripping the club.

The 'Lads' ( Rear-Admiral Crush, Captain Sparrow, Able-seaman Crofts & Cabin-boy Hall) are showing the way and last week donned their Speedos, lathered up their rears (that's another story. But who's idea was it to use water based cream?) and spanked off up towards the feeder.

All went well: Equipped with shiny torsos, shinier rears and the fabulous Baker-boy deftly steering, the bums were up and down the docks in a blur.

Not so dainty when it came to taking the boat out: Apparently not-so-Able-Seaman Crofts tried to show the ballerinas of The Fairy Princess his Grande tour de Promenade and promptly slid flat on his derrière into the waiting water.

Judges awarded a 8.5 - marked down due to too much cheek on show.

Swimmety swim

What a morning.
No sooner had I raised my tousled head from the old bags and newspaper littering the gutter outside my abode and staggered back into the shelter, than I was on the receiving end of some frankly mirth making news.

It's not unknown in the summer time for some fair weather scullers to brave the skinny little singles and take to the water in the morning sun with the hope of showing off their toned, sweaty physiques to a bleary eyed commuter or two.

One such paddler is none other than Captain Andy 'Lollipop legs' Porter. Upon arriving at the boathouse and bleating about how there was a bit of wind and the water "...isn't mirror flat...", he none the less decided to chance the elements and toddled off to have a paddle.

But oh no. Disaster.
One witness described the event as "...delicate. Like a china rose slowly falling onto the flag stones to suddenly be smashed to smithereens..." while another was too busy drying his lycra after laughing so much to make intelligible comment.

Yes, Capt Porter made the ultimate sacrifice for his sport and whilst quietly mumbling the phrase "Oh dear, I appear to be falling into the briny." or words to that effect, slipped slowly sideways into the water. Then spent a good five minutes giving the docklands a view of his soggy posterior as he tried to shimmy back into his craft.

But after all that, he still managed to keep his perm dry. We salute you, sir.

It begins...

Yep folks, summer's here and that means regatta fun fun fun.

This weekend was Wallingford regatta and there was a mighty Bristol contingent present.
12 boats raced in ten different events, 6 of those were finals and two of those went through a qualifying round to get there (phew!).

Special mention goes to:
The Novice Women's 8 who came 3rd only 15 seconds behind the leaders.
The Men's Senior 2 coxed 4 who came in storming 3rd in the final even with a 2 man who looked like a tomato.
The Women's senior 3 coxed 4 who came 5th in their final after a smooth 2nd place in their heat.
And finally the Women's Novice coxed 4 (B) who romped home in 2nd in a straight final along with their (A) boat. Good to see so many newbies pounding up Dorney Lake.

Full list of races, heats and finals results here.

Other weekend news...The battle of the men's 8s rages on with the crews finishing their respective heats within 1 second of each other, although neither qualified for the final.
But it seems that a secret weapon has been unleashed in the ongoing saga in the hunt for the fastest Bristol crew.

Rumour has it that the recently named CoBRC first 8 Sweepers have taken delivery of a temporary boat while Sims finish off the new vessel. Cryptically known as "The Fairy Princess" it seems that the new tactic on the cards is "intimidation by tutu".
Let's see what the Hen-party cruisers make of the fairies over the next few weeks...

Summertime

And the livin’ is easy
Fish are jumpin’ and the cotton is high
Oh your daddy’s rich and your ma is good lookin’
So hush little baby, don’t you cry

Right, that’s your little Sonny and Cher rendition over with for another year (thank god for that). Yes, oarsfolks of Bristol, summer is nearly upon us again. Sunshine is guaranteed this weekend, as both the women and men head off to Dorney Lake for seat racing. Squad coaches will be selecting crews, looking to put City of Bristol RC on the map once again at this year’s summer regattas. There’ll be adrenaline, there’ll be sweat, there’ll be calls of nature in tuppaware, there’ll be kit failure, there’ll be body failure. There will be success. Good luck to everyone racing.

For rowing geeks out there (i.e. anyone reading this), here’s a little something Gurt wrote back in the summer of 2004.

http://www.oarsport.co.uk/training/guide.php?article=crew_selection

Hung, drawn...

Message from Mr Holden who couldn't get his piccie to work:

"I just wanted to extend my thanks to the marshals who worked tirelessly directing the vast flow of boat trailers and spectators to the start line. Here we see a Marshal pointing the way to the “head”.
Tried adding this pic to gurt, alas in vain."

Aww. Gurt always obliges.
Even though I don't get it.

It could be your night...if you play your cards right

Morning oarsfolk of Bristol,
I trust one and all are in good spirits this fine morning? Is anyone else having trouble with blocked sinuses? That creme brulee gets everywhere. It's worse than 4-day old phlegm.
Well, it seems like there was scandal galore on Saturday night, as Bristol's finest oarsfolk scrubbed themselves off and displayed their finest bristols. I am aware of at least 'a few' special comings together, but as always, my discretion will be exemplary, so your secret's safe with me ..... (kind of!)
Many thanks have to go to Emily and Rowena, for organising a fabulous event. And to Chris, our highly entertaining MC who hosted the show. Our captains made marvellous speeches, which showed up the diverse talent and the efforts that so many people make in our great club. Masks were aplenty, including many famous people such as Bruce Forsyth, Peter Andre and Colin Davis. Thank you everyone for making a wonderful evening.

Another good head

With the distinct chance that events over the course of the next 12 hours filling these pages for weeks to come (come on, tell all... you know you want to) it's a good idea to mention that there head that took place earlier today.

A slightly smaller than usual Head of the Avon went off without any hiccups with weather to make an old man's heart glow like a surf boaters arse. Even with a slight shower to make people grumble before the start and several pleasure boats trying to wash scullers down, all boats finished the course safely.
The event was mainly a chance for good old CBRC to spank it along one of the longest courses that anyone round here feels the need to put themselves through, but there were a couple of additions from elsewhere too.

Thanks to the organisers, especially Brian who still seems to want to make his life as hard as possible every year. Cheers luvva.

And so well done all those who decided it would be a good idea to do a stupid amount of rowing this morning. No results as yet, mainly because people are putting party frocks on.
Now where'd I put me pulling pants?

Annual Dinner

Dear love birds, with the upcoming CBRC annual dinner fast approaching, there will no doubt be a few sharks and dark horses out there polishing up their one liners and readying their fancy pants in the ever optimistic hope of some inter- or intra-squad action. Rest assured that the Gurtarazzi will be on hand to take snaps and facilitate wooing. Would any singletons out there like to make yourselves known? DateLush is launched...

This year, the two key pieces of information to remember are: (1) Mud Dock is the venue (or ‘Muddock’ as Emily likes to call it); (2) Haddock is the fish (or ‘Had Dock’ as Emily likes to call it). CBRC’s very own tsetse fly expert has worked tirelessly this year to bring us the prospect of a highly sophisticated night. Yes folks, if you’re lucky, while you’re enjoying your pan fried water vole with cabbage jus, Dr Adams will regale you with her range of amusing anecdotes. Just last night, I heard her whisper over the coxbox to her spellbound crew: “Trypanosomes are the causative agents of many diseases of medical and veterinary importance, including sleeping sickness and nagana in Africa, and Chagas disease in South America. Two, take a stroke”. Incredible.

Give it a little...

A call has gone out from the fair ladies of the girly squad (through the fairer Kirsty):

If we raise £30 for the charity Breast Cancer Haven we can enter a draw to win a GPS cox box for the club. Not many crews have bothered so the odds look pretty good!
I've set up a justgiving page:
http://www.justgiving.com/cbrc_wehorr
Thanks

Of course it goes without saying that all you lovely rowers will leap upon this opportunity to support the girlies and club straight away with wide open wallets.
Indeed, one gent has already whipped the purse out of his Speedoes at lightning speed to make good his donation.
But, oh no! Upon setting his quid upon the table...

"I tried to donate £1 but said the minimum was £2 - does anybody want to go halves?"

Mr Miserly 2008 has already been awarded, apparently.

HORR 2008

Dear Oarsfolk of Bristol,
a message from the men's captain:

Saturday 15th March saw the 2008 HORR take place in near perfect conditions. City of Bristol had the strongest entry in recent years with two top level crews comprising a good mix of experience from novice all the way to elite rowers and Henley winners.

Following last year’s disappointment all oarsmen were hoping for a more satisfactory conclusion to the winter training season. This was certainly achieved with the 1st VIII moving up 95 places and finishing 62nd while the 2nd VIII followed closely behind coming in at 70th. I’m fairly sure that City of Bristol has never placed higher in the HORR and certainly not with two crews in the top 80. The result is testament to the commitment of our coaching team as well as the talent of our oarsmen. Congratulations also to Dom, Russ and Crusher who made a guest appearance in the Blacksheep boat and finished 186th. Commiserations to the Vets who were unable to race on Sunday after the event was cancelled.

The Men’s squad finds itself in a new and exciting place with size and depth that has not been seen for some time. We have some challenges ahead to maximise our potential and I am also keen that we improve the development of rowers within the club so we can maintain what we have started. We have set ourselves up for a blinding summer and I am looking forward to seeing us well and truly on the map for the major summer races.

The time has come...

Dear Oarsmen and old gits of Bristol, Randy and I are looking forward to our day out in London tomorrow. Make us proud. Best of luck to one and all, we’re hoping to see City of Bristol I and II right up there with the best. Both crews have worked really hard for this race, lets's see some deserved results. Good luck too to the Vets and our brave lambs racing for Black Sheep. Fingers crossed for a raging head wind. Open your mouths going under Hammersmith and we’ll pour down some refreshing cider...

Best of the West

Here follows an account of the 2008 Women's Head of the River Race by El Capitano Lancaster:

On Saturday, the club sent a (previously unmatched?) total of four 8s to London to fly the CoB flag and compete in the Women's Eights Head of the River Race. The day dawned with gale force winds, and although the row up the start was somewhat reminiscent of James Cracknell's cross-channel escapades, things had calmed down significantly by the time the starting gun was fired (thank goodness).

The first 8 had a decent row to finish 66th, the highest placing for the club for some years, and arguably one of the strongest results ever given the ever-increasing standard of the competition. Not only that, but they put UWE, Bristol Uni, Exeter RC and Edinburgh Uni (big rivals since Henley 07) well and truly in their place. And all that despite suspecting there's a little more in the tank.... Looking good for the regatta season girls!



The second 8 rowed out of their skins to finish in 91st place, demonstrating the depth that we have developed in the squad this year. So next year the women will have 2 8s starting in the top 100, and bearing in mind that the 1st eight finished 115th 3 years ago, it's plain to see how far the squad has come come!



We also sent no less than TWO novice 8s, testament to the hard work of Emma W (novice captain), James F (coach) and the girls themselves of course. The first 8 finished a very commendable 164th, leaving many an S4 (or even S3) crew in their wake. The second 8 finished a respectable 234th, establishing our novice squad as the place to be (and there's a waiting list to prove it!) Perhaps we are looking to a record tally of novice pots once the regatta season is upon us?






Many thanks from the whole squad to everyone who has helped out during the preparations. We couldn't achieve such sparkling results without such great support from our coxes, coaches and subs. What a fantastic squad we have - long may it continue! Well done girls.

-----

Well done girlies.
Gurt enjoys such a large women's squad and all that it entails. Wins, of course.

Surf Boaties - Training Plan

Can you Erg?, can you drink?, do you like tabasco sauce?, do you know the words of Neil Diamond Songs? A dedicated crew of Real Men will be out on the waves this summer. Only One Quiche Eater amongst them - the executioner Big Bad Dom. See him if you want to use their boat & get a second crew up.
One tour weekend guaranteed. Meet the judge, prosecutor & executor.

The original crews
what the f*#$ ?!?

How the pro's do it!

Ledge Head

Reet thar, moi luvva?!

Gurt's well excited, ain't it? Not only has another cracking CBRC Head Race gone off well, but all them Bristol rowers have been packing away the medals.

Full list of all them lovely winners below.

• S2 8+ Evan Bickmore, Rob Beever, Charlie Jones, Morgan Specht, Charley Breen, Colin Davis, Dan Brawn, Andy Porter, Ruth Cullingford (cox)
  

• VetB 8+ Chris Sparrow, Martin Kelly, Martin Downey, Graham Davidson, Dylan Lang, Dominic Hall, Jack Mellor, Mike Murphy, Nicole Canty (cox)
  

• WS2 8+ Katy Lancaster, Caroline Richards, Kate Knowles, Tracy Ford, Jihan El-Labany, Bekki Kedward, Emma Watson, Rachael Wright, Diego Colantoni (cox)
  

• WS3 8+ Bronwen Daniel, Natalie Perumal, Jessica Voremberg, Corina Brocksopp, Lauren Obrentz, Nadia Balhi, Katy Lancaster, Kirsty McGaul, Diego Colantoni (cox)

• WNV 8+ Emily Kingston, Anne O'Loghlen, Emma Drew, Jennifer Owsley, Issica Baron, Clara Kukulska, Caroline Barker, Lucy Imeson, Geoff Watson (cox)

• S2 4x Mike Murphy, Aaron Pascovitch, Will Downey, Sean Bathe-Taylor
  

• S4 2x Jack Mellor (composite with Crabtree BC)
  

• J18 2x James Pentlow, Jake Sobstyl
  

• WJ12 2x Catherine Street, Ellena Murphy
  

• S2 1x Mike Duffy
  

• J18 1x Jake Sobstyl
  

New Course records:

• WS2 8+ 12:14.31

• S2 4- 11:02.13
  

• S4 2x 12:2329 (CoBRC/Crabtree)
  

Nice one to all the harassed organisers (Crush wasn't as wobbly as you'd have thought considering the rugby result on Saturday night) & volunteers for getting it all to run smoothly.

Come to Bed, mister!

Yes folks, a tantalising evening of treats and fun awaits one and all this Saturday night (16th Feb) in Bedminster. It's Zoe's birthday of course! Come along and share in the mirth.

The amusement begins at 8pm at The Princess of Wales (Westbourne Grove), then moving on to Quinns (East Street) at 8.30pm.

Classic Bedminster games await, such as the "did you say my girlfriend was fat..? Are you calling me a liar" game, and the "Pin the Pole to the pole" contest. Prizes for the shiniest white trainers and best tattoo ensemble.

See you there!

Contender! Ready! Gladiator?

Now while Gurt doesn't personally own any of these new fangled gadgets like a wireless with pictures or one of them telephones that aren't tied to the wall (although admittedly many an hour was once spent with noses pressed up against the glass watching Jet bounce around the arena) news has reached Gurt's cakeholes that Sky are intent upon re-launching the (somewhat) classic Gladiators series

But surely they can't be expecting all those once lithe and fit bodies to be up to the challenge these days? And the answer seems to be no.

Producers are a-hunting for some 21st century Gladiators to throw hapless contestants all over the matting.

Can City of Bristol rise to this challenge? Of course! There's been a whispering in the air that a certain fiery-haired fox might be the ideal candidate. Not only could she probably take down any foolish individual intent on stardom who got in her way with her bare hands, but of course after all that practice powering herself along (in one of those 'other' boats) she's now fully trained in using one of those giant cotton buds.



Then of course there's the possibilty of being taken down by two sisters at once...
More power to the mighty Maunders! Appearing on your boxes soon, maybe?

Diego and Madonna

Morning oarsfolk of Bristol. During my usual eavesdropping on the Ladies' squad tea session, my ears suddenly perked up to a conversation I can only assume was about 'my favourite footballer'. Bekki was heard cooing about a certain 'Diego', with his "hand of God", his "incredible dribbling" and apparently "you should see what he can do with his left foot". "For a short, fat bloke, he's incredibly talented".

Yes folks, it appears that the CBRC love machine has cranked into action once again. With Valentine's Day on the horizon, BetLush is frantically assessing who will get together next. Is there anyone left who is single???

Dreaming of Sun, Sand...

... and the smell of a burning bush.

Morning there all you avid Lushers. Another break in updates as Gurt has gone covert.
Yep, in the last month some of you lucky few have been stalked.

Gurt's been a-creepin' and a-crawlin' and watching you sleep at night. And stealing photos of you from the holiday album.




Yes just like the fabled chaste panda, there is a red variety of Beever too. Although only after it's been on its summer hols.