Mardi Gras

As it's Shrove Tuesday, Lush Cuisine brings you everything you need to know about creating the perfect pancake:

• The pancake pan
• The recipe
• The all important toss
• The fillings

Tasty.

Women's Squad Haul in the Medals

It was a succesful weekend for the ladies in the club as they managed to net a total of 32 medals between them over the two days of racing.

The titles gained were:

• WN4+ beat 4 other crews and won at Bristol
• WS4 8 won at Worcester
• WS4 8 won at Bristol
• WS3 8 broke the course record at Bristol.

Hats off to Jane and Kirsty who raced a total of 16.5km and Katy who coxed 20km, though suprisingly Jane still had the energy to do the locomation with the other girls on Sunday night!

Good work girls.

Bristol International Head Race

While tucking into my porridge this morning I was pleased to hear a report about yesterday's head race in the docks on BBC Bristol. It was particularily nice to have an authentic Bristolian voice to publicise the event, it was just a shame it was a voice from Bristol, Oregan.

Luckily Morgan managed to refrain from adding a few yee-ha's to his interview.

Stikka Vikka Sculla

Rowing appeals to people from all walks of life but this morning saw an unusual member of the community take to the water. Father Reece, the self ordained Stikka Vikka from Vibe 101, was at the club bright and early to try his hand at various rowing related activities.

He was keen to take to the water straight away and so was pushed out in a Virus. Despite an unstable start he managed to stay remarkably upright.
He then proceeded to challenge Jane and Caroline to a 500m blast on the ergs, and won! Let me guess, you let him win eh girls?
During the morning the man of the cloth found great hilarity in a few of our rowing terms: "Cox", "Stroke the boat" and "reach around the rigger" were found particulaily amusing.

However the poor chap was obviously suffering from the early start as he insisted he was at Bristol Yacht Club.....God Bless him.

You're a Winner!

Rowing is about two things: Pain and Glory and with glory comes pots, medals and the adoration of those around you.

Unfortunately most people experience an awful of the former but not much of the latter.
If your trophy cabinet is looking a bit bare then you can either enter the Head of the Avon Gorge next year or award yourself your very own medal by buying one here.
You can even have it engraved with a suitably impressive title e.g.:

"Pairs Head Winner 2005 - Senior Elite"
"Women's Eights HoRR - Course Record"
"Diamond Sculls Champion 2001-2004"
"First Class Coxswain"
"Miss Bristol 2006"

With a minimum order of 25 you'll have one for every occasion, just don't wear them all at once.

10km of racing

This weekend will see most of the club take to the water for a bit of racing. On Saturday the senior crews will be taking on the formidable 6.5km Worcester head course while on Sunday CBRC hosts a slightly tamer 3.5km race.

Hopefully everyone will get involved on Sunday to help Stuey make the event a success, if you haven't been given a job yet then e-mail him and he'll give you something to do.

By the end of Sunday you should all have worked up a bit of a thirst and so there will be a gathering in the Roo Bar at 7:30 for a few well earned drinks.

Good luck to all those competing.

Sorry love, I can't hear you

Following on from the story about tinitus from last year it seems that ringing ears is the latest excuse for ignoring your significant other according to the men who study these things.

But before you rush back to La Roca for another aural assault or ask your cox to turn the amp up to 11 be warned:
"...more than a quarter of those people blamed tinnitus for having a reduced sex drive".

I'm off to buy some ear muffs.

Oops

Apologies to all those who have tried to leave comments over the last week, you will probably have noticed that none of them have shown up. This wasn't some sort of silencing tactic but rather an IT error. The hamster responsible for turning that particular wheel has now been fired and a new one put in place so things should be back to normal.
All comments from the last week should now be visible.

She's a Pinball Wizard

Blimey.

I like to think that Gurtrude and I "work the room" pretty well when we are out and about. Hopefully we got round to chatting to you all in La Rocca at some point on Saturday.

But our schmoozing was nothing compared to society's hardest working party girl - Sarah Hogan.

She was here, there and everywhere on the dancefloor, shaking her booty, and generally bringing sparkle to the whole affair. Like a social butterfly...

However, owing to my terrible staying power of late, I am unaware to report if her pinball approach yielded any fine young men - but I am sure you will let me know.

Dont forget to email me: gurt_lush_blog@hotmail.co.uk

Bless her.

The Cave of Love

Once again I am delighted to report on another fine set of antics from the past weekend.

Correct me if I am wrong, but I have always thought that people have lucky charms to help them with success. But now I have found someone with a lucky venue...

Yet again Mr Castle has surpassed all-comers with his ability to "bag a beauty" in the hallowed caverns of La Rocca.

But what is his secret?

I spent most of yesterday mulling this over, and have concluded the following shortlist:
- the buffon
- the hip thrust
- the chisselled good looks
- the chat

or possibly that he might have a secret weapon concealed upon him?

Come on ladies, help me out.

Cake Production Causes City Chaos

With the impending training day on the Thames approaching, the Women's 1st VIII have been busy preparing supplies for the trip. However disaster struck yesterday when the flour delivery for the all important cake production tipped over shortly before reaching the boat club. The resulting traffic jam caused chaos throughout the city and the crew have been left with a tough decision as to whether to cancel the trip altogether.
In these situations theres only one thing to do: call Cakestoppers.

Legs 'Hic' Ten

Over the years I've seen a variety of interesting courses being steered by coxes on the docks. I've always put this down to either inexperience or a desire to make the crew row as far as possible during the outing. The coxes themselves will probably blame their equipment ("The rudder is too small", "The fin is too big") or the crew ("Bow side are pulling too hard").

However I have found an interesting coxing tip that may account for this erratic rudder work.

So it seem the secret of a good outing is to feed your cox a quick strawpedo of fizzy wine before you leave the docks. I'm not sure if you get the same effect with sambuca though...

Marital Bliss

They say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach and for the newly wedded Dylan this definately seems to be the case. Even before the end of the honeymoon he had got Claire well trained so that, at the end each day, he had a hearty meal waiting for him followed by a hot bath:

I wonder how long that will last?!

Send Your Stories In

I was sorry to hear that some of the readers of this blog felt that the opinions and stories were a little biased. Gurtrude and I are active campaigners for a multitude of charities that promote equal rights for all groups and with this in mind I always try and present a balanced view.

However in the style of Tony Hart and his Gallery (he never did show my lovely painting that I sent him), the stories posted here are often sent in by readers and I simply display them for your ammusement and delectation.

If you have a story that you feel needs to be shared with the oarsfolk of Bristol then please send it to gurt_lush_blog@hotmail.co.uk. This address is also accesible from my profile on the left side of the page. I'll look forward to your reports from the weekend!

I bet that you look good on the dancefloor

Like drinking?
Like dancing?
Like making a fool of yourself in front of fellow rowers and the general public?
Need a good reason to do all of the above?

Well this Saturday there are no less than four good reasons to don your dancing shoes, line your stomach and join the binge drinkers of Bristol:

Miss Rona Smith will be bidding farewell to the Boat Club, the City and her favourite subterranean drinking establishment. Come and join her for one final absinth and champagne fuelled session.

This week also sees Jimmy, Zoë and Martina become another year older. All three will be celebrating on Saturday and taking on the Le Roca challenge in quick succession.

The night will begin in the Park Bar at 8:00 and will inevitably continue to the club of choice for CBRC: Le Roca

...and Ladies, you might even get the change to get up close and personal to the so called "Heavenly Hunks" of the Club...

More Mushy Messages

And there's more...

I saw you: In the Millennium Stadium at the weekend (Wales v Scotland). I was three seats across from you, just the other side of your girlfriend. Would you like to meet to share some leek soup, and check out my daffodil?

I noticed you when you were walking past the zoo, as I gazed from my cage. You were wearing the nicest bright yellow top I have ever seen - and yet I could still see your fur sticking up out of the neckline. Oh wont you come and visit me?

....Would you...um....

This next flurry of flirtatious confessions are devoted to one man. The clubs very own pocket sized cockney.

"The only words on my mind are Steve Bathurst.
The man is the only real man at the club. His physique is unsurpassed, and many a night are spent dreaming of running my hands over his toned and muscular body. Nuzzling his hairy chest moves me to places that many could only imagine. The manner and determination with which he trains, and the way in which he keeps the men’s squad on the straight and narrow, leaves me wanting him to take me with similar control and prowess. What is a person to do when seeing this person renders them so utterly at his mercy? He could do what ever he wanted, and I'd just ask for more.
Steve, be mine, don't be shy. You know who I am, every time you give me that cheeky grin and smile. "

What a lucky chap he is!

...I find you very attractive...

More expresions of interest...

"I've seen you sniffing around a group of lovely women, whilst I was too shy to step forward. Oh please wear those green leggings again (you know, the ones you wore for the commando challenge), they do wicked things to me!"

"I spotted you at the "Van of Death" outside Habitat, tucking into a Foie Gras burger. How could you do this to me? Shattering all my dreams about you.
Come back to me Dr Jones, and let me persuade you back into a tank top, and sandals!!! Xxx "

"Dear Gurt,

I saw one of the men's squad on the ergos the other night with a very red face. I think he rows for Italy? I'd love to try and work him into a similar state of exhaustion with me....."

"Gurt,

I've been admiring you from afar and would relish a get together with you and let our tongues feast on the language of love - Brizzol.

Luv......."

I've Noticed You Around....

As promised, here are the first batch of romantic messages....

"I saw you...

Wearing lycra on the docks. I was`wearing green, sweating profously, and rowing like a dredger. You sporting the finest shock of red hair I have ever seen, and were rowing like a goddess.

Would you like to join me for erging followed by Sambucca in Comfy? Please contact Gurt."

"Dear Gurt,

I've seen a girl at the club who I quite like, she is quite short, has blonde hair and drives an old mini. Someone told me she has a boyfriend, please tell me this isn't true??"

Keep those messages coming to: ive-noticed-you-around@hotmail.co.uk

14th February 2006

BANES Head of the River - Updated

Despite not existing for some ten years, Avon County still has a rowing club named after it and they held their head race on Saturday.
In all, 8 boats from CBRC competed and medals were won by the Men's 1st VIII (S3), Vet D 4x, Alex "Danger" Marsh (S4 1x), and the Women's S4 4+. Let me know via the comments if anyone has been left out. Here are a few pictures of the action:













Click the pics for a larger view or go to here to look for more.

V Day Approaches

Well it’s nearly that time of year again, and I don’t mean the opening of the Arse-Leather Sledding World Championships, yes it’s nearly St Valentines Day.
For many this will induce a cold sweat as you try to think of something to do or give that your significant others will cherish forever, or at least for that night.
To help with this annual conundrum I’ve come up with a few ideas.

For the affluent among you, a weekend city break seems like a good choice and most will head to the most romantic town in the world: Yeovil. However true Valentines connoisseurs will fly to Lucerne. What could be more romantic than taking a double scull out on the gorgeous lake with snow topped mountains as the backdrop? Guaranteed to impress.

For those with a slightly more modest budget, but who just can’t leave their sport at home, the charming Thames-side town of Henley could be an ideal choice. May I suggest a morning at the River and Rowing Museum followed by lunch at The Angel on the Bridge finishing with an afternoon punting on the famous stretch of river.

Gurtrude and I will be partaking in our traditional routine of a morning in the Coronation Tap, followed by a brisk stroll along the dockside and then dinner in the Brunel Buttery. Hopefully this will get Gurtrude in the mood for a bit of stress relieving.

For the truly tight amongst you there is only one option to save money on Tuesday, for the women try this and the men, this.

If you would like to pass on a romantic message to someone you’ve had your eye on then e-mail them to Ive-noticed-you-around@hotmail.co.uk and I’ll put them up on Tuesday. Anonymity assured!

Gurt Lush - Probably a Web Blog

In the light of recent events in the news, I'd like to encourage freedom of speech and the opinions of others. Alternative rowing related blogs and websites are available, which can and should be read alongside the ramblings published on this site, though Gurt Lush will continue to report on some of the finest stories the rowing world has to offer.

Keep it Lush!

Thanks Kirsty

I’ve been asked by the Men’s 2nd VIII to pass on the following message to Kirsty after she helped them out by coxing last night.

“Thanks for coxing us Kirsty, it really was a pleasure to have you sat in the stern of our boat and I’m sure you won’t be thirsty next time we’re in the pub. If you find yourself at a loose end over the next few months (especially on the 25th March) then we’d love to have you steer our boat again.”

It seems that bribery and flattery are the only way to get coxswains these days, which could be quite lucrative for the little people at the club!

Having heard that Kirsty was to be coxing, I took up residence in the beer garden of the Ostrich in the hope that I’d hear a rendition of Fairy Tale of New York being broadcast over the cox box. Unfortunately she wasn’t in a singing mood, which is a shame because there are a few Shane McGowan look-alikes in the men’s squad who could have sung it with her!

The Best of the Best

FISA have just published their top 10 athletes from 2005. Unfortunately none of CBRC have managed to make the list this time, in fact there is a suprisingly poor showing of Brits.
Looks like you'll all have to try a bit harder this year!

Getting Cosy in Comfy Pt.3

One of the women's 1st VIII managed to attract the attention of a random gentleman in Comfy on Saturday night.
First she was asked if she wanted a drink, to which she answered: "To be sure". The gentleman then asked if she would like a bit of a smooch in a dark corner of the club (one of the dark corners not already occupied by other members of CBRC that is) her reply being: "Ah Go on, Go on, Go on!".
It must have been something to do with the luck of the Irish....

Royal Visit

I'm amazed that BBC Points West didn't pick up on this story but apparantly HRH Prince William decided to enjoy a few drinks in Bristol on Saturday.
The debonair heir to the throne had been playing polo in the West Country that day and decided to sample some of our fair city's finest cider after the match. You would have thought he would have got changed out of his polo kit first...

Getting Cosy in Comfy Pt. 2

f there’s one thing you can rely on it’s that if you mix alcohol, young ladies and Stuey you are guaranteed to produce a story. Luckily Saturday night was no exception.
The lothario with the immaculate coiffure found himself in a passionate embrace with one of the party's hangers-on in a dark corner of Comfy in the early hours of the morning.

However the story doesn’t end there. During a brief moment when the couple had to surface for air, Stuey decided to have a bit of chat with the Red Squirrel. No one is quite sure what the topic of conversation was but rumour has it they began to argue as to who could pull the better ergo score. The matter could not be resolved within the club and Stuey was invited to ‘take it outside’. Unfortunately the bouncers must have misinterpreted his intentions and decided he was far too dangerous a character to be let back in and issued him with a one-night ban from the club.
They obviously didn’t know that he’s a lover not a fighter!

Thanks Dr. L!

The Men's 1st VIII have asked me to pass on this message to Katy after she bailed them out last night and agreed to cox.
"Thanks for coxing us Katy, it really was beyond the call of duty. Remember to leave your wallet at home for the next club social as you are owed at least 8 drinks (surely that's just from Steve - Ed). If you find yourself at a loose end in the summer then we'd love to have you steer us again! P.S. Glad you enjoyed our ratio."

It sounds to me like they are trying to practice the ancient art of cox poaching.....

Getting Cosy In Comfy Pt.1

The residents of the Comfy dancefloor were dazzled by the moves and skills of the drunken rowers on Saturday night.
Mr Beaver was on particularly good form for most of the night but got carried away when a tune came on from his favourite record label. It seems the flying splits were too much for the maths teacher and so emergency physiotherapy was required. As luck would have it a trained professional was on hand to administer the treatment, though her technique was somewhat unconventional.

Nuts

I was up early on Saturday to watch the sun rise over Broadmead (a glorious sight on a winters morning) and was lucky enough to spot Dom and Rob B. training for what must be a new form of triathlon.
The first discipline appeared to be rowing, as they set off in a pair up the docks. They then proceeded to stop, carry out some sort of balancing exercise and then park the boat (very gingerly) at Princes Street Bridge ready for the next discipline: the boat carry. The hapless duo then carried their boat, bare foot, all the way back to the boat club. The final discipline involved putting a new set of washers and top nut on the gate and making sure it was all tightened up.

I’m not sure if this Row-Run-Rig event will catch on!

Have you got an Alibi?

It started like so many impromptu Saturday night sessions with: "Do you fancy a couple of quiet drinks in Alibi?..." A few quiet drinks turned to many raucous rounds and the motley collection of oarsfolk and associated hangers-on were soon in the mood for dancing and proceeded to Comfy.

This is where all sorts of interesting, and sometimes shocking, happenings took place.

I am still gathering all the facts for what happened in there from those that witnessed the events but hope to be able to report the full story shortly.
Stay tuned......

Rowing....TO THE MAX!!

Rowing often has an image of being a sport for gentlemen and ladies brought up on a diet of Pimms and strawberries and most of the members of CBRC conform to this stereotype(!). This can be off-putting for the kind of people who when reffering to a blazer are talking about the latest hippity hoppity 'song'.
In an effort to appeal to the yoofs of today I looked to the experts in the field of making things 'cool', 'hip' and, dare I say, 'sexy' to create a promotional video for the sport.
See what you think of their efforts here.
(warning topless rowing content)

Closet Frisbee Boy

You see Dominic Hall: "Man Mountain" and piece of meat in the 4 seat...

But it wasn't always like that.

Once upon a time he was deft of hand and fleet of foot. He even sported a shocking haircut.

Judge for yourself, then take the p*ss!

http://www.ukultimate.com/2005/board/Dominic.aspx

Crew saving technology

After recent fears over the number of injuries in the 1st 8 crew, they have been forced into the early adoption the latest advance in blade technology...
In a quote from the mens captain, himself sidlined as reported earlier, "due to a number of injuries, we have had to move forward with this as yet untested new blade design. We hope to save weight, and only use Dom and Morgan to get us into the top 100 at HORR."

Animal Antics

It seems that less than half of Brits think that the theory of evolution is correct according to a recent survey.
I for one am a great believer in Darwin’s studies as I’m sure that the animals are getting smarter. Just last night I spotted a brace of beavers paddling up and down the docks in a pair. This morning saw a similar display of intelligence from seemingly simian beasts as they slogged away on the ergos at the crack of dawn, proving the writers of this advert wrong.

(Thanks to the Slug for the picture)

The Raven Has Landed

After months, if not years of haggling, borrowing, begging and bartering the club has finally bought a new men’s eight. The new Aylings AX2, named Raven, was picked up at the weekend and is now in the boathouse waiting for her maiden outing.

The trouble is there are so many injuries plaguing the 1st 8 that it looks likely to stay in the boathouse for a few more days yet. Steve seems to be having particular difficulty with a mysterious wrist injury, however accusations that he developed the swollen wrist while trying to relieve stress after reading the BBC article mentioned a few days ago are unproven….

Tour of Slough

Sorry about the silence for the last few days, I’ve just got back from a little trip to Slough at the weekend. I’ve spent the last few days drinking in the Sales Rep’s Retreat, a charming little boozer next to the Traveltavern just off the A4, while waiting for the men’s squad to arrive for their training camp. Trouble is it turns out they booked into the Travlelodge just down the road so I missed them.

Luckily I wasn’t the only one to make this elementary error as Coach, George and Rob B managed to book the Travelinn a few miles away. There was only a small amount of embarrassment when they tried to check in to the ‘Lodge with their ‘Inn booking form!